10yrs in and scared it's the end

[pinotnoirismyjam]

I've been with my partner for over 10 years. He's pretty amazing but I struggle to have an emotional connection with him and we're like ships in the night (i am in therapy btw).

It's partly typical male crappiness in terms of sharing housework, but predominantly due to a lack of sex - when we have it it's great but once a week is not enough for me. We've recently bought a house and I've raised it over and over and no change. What would you do?!

Why did you buy a house if you feel like this

@changedmynameforChristmas tbh we started looking at his behest and given our budget and his specifications I doubted we'd find something - we viewed for over a year. Once we found something it felt too late to say that i was worried. I ensured we put legal arrangements in place to protect his contribution to the deposit.

Why buy a house with someone who doesn't make you happy?

You've been together ten years, feel no emotional connection. he doesn't do his fair share and you are unhappy with your sex life. The relationship sounds like it is based on convenience rather than affection.

Do you have children

No kids

How old are you OP? Do you want to have children and does your partner ? Is this why he wanted to buy a house ?

I think sex once a week is fine as in my house we both work long hours and are knackered . Maybe ask him what he wants out of a relation ship, what's important to him and you do the same ( give him time to think and write it down) , then see if you can marry it up or if you can live with it . I know people are saying why did u buy a house etc I would say ignore that for now ( i regretted moving my partner in my home initially but over time we have settled and now are v happy) but you do need frank conversations . My ex avoided frank conversations like that but my current partner is the opposite and I know that makes me feel more secure .

We are late 30s. I don't want children, he used to not want them but seems more indecisive about it now but is non-committal when we discuss it.

@Molly333 - thanks, good idea.

I dont see the point in settling for each other if you are unhappy. You’re only in your 30’s and have no children you have whole life ahead. You should have a serious chat - he may not be happy either...