Meeting someone new when you have a child already

[FreesiaFairy]

Is it hard to meet someone new when you already have a baby/child? Anyone with experience of this - did you find potential partners were put off because of your situation? Not ready to date yet but just wondering what the chances are I'll ever be in a happy relationship again...

I have. DS' dad walked out August 2019 and through online dating I found a new fella in August 2020. We're taking things slowly and he won't be meeting DS until may as per the agreement with DS' dad but it's going well and he's not bothered in the slightest that I'm already a parent.

They may be a rare breed but they exist. You just have to be patient. Good luck sweetie ❤️

I met my future husband when DS was 3. DH was not at all put off, we got along so well and then DS was a bonus. They adored each other. I wasn't looking and we met through a hobby/ society. Other men were put off I gather, but honestly anyone put off by DS was instantly of no interest to me. It's a good way of filtering out shallow losers.

I met DP (well Dfiance) when DS was 3. They get on like a house on fire. Me being a mum never put DP off. I think you just need to be patient and take it slow when you do start to date.

I always thought a guy having a kid was an automatic no for me ( i don't have or want my own) yet i'vecompletely fallen for a man with a 4 year old. Not quite the same as he is not resident parent but it really changed my whole outlook and i look forward to the day i become part of the little guys life too.

These are inspirational stories, thanks ladies! 'filtering out shallow losers' haha. Well my little guy is pretty damn cool so anyone put off by him is clearly not our cup of tea anyway ...

I have 3 and yes the people I have dated have ended it because they suddenly realise I have kids. I suspect with 3 I’m going to be staying single which is fine.

They probably are out there I just haven’t met one!

I don't think it's hard to meet someone but I think you become more selective when you have kids because if things work out, they are going to be around them and part of the family. I've got 4 kids, 3 of them I had before I met my DH.

I met DH online when DD was 5. 4 years later, happily married, DC 4 on way! He's an amazing dad and stepdad, helps that we were both happy single before we met!

I have one DS and split with Ex when he was 2. It never seemed to put men off. Good luck op! Xx

I have a DD who is13. I divorced her dad 2years ago & was in no rush to date again as I had the same thoughts as you.
I've now met an amazing man who has 2 similar aged boys.
He has met my DD & my only advice would be, that it'll be easier while your child is young, a new partner & a hormonal teenage DD is a challenging combination but fortunately a challenge my partner is not at all phased by.
Good luck .. you deserve to be happy & there is someone out there for everyone xx

ExP left when DD was 2 years old I met DH when she was 4 years old. Happily married and TTC soon. I dated ALOT during those 2 single years and I never had one man put off by the fact I had a DD.

I think there are definitely men who do not want women that already have kids, be honest and bring it up early so you don't waste your time on people who aren't ok with it.

On the other hand, some men that say they are fine, happy etc to be with a woman that already has kids doesn't always mean they understand what having children is like and that you are a mum first.

I met someone when I already had 2 children and we now have one together.

I think looking at their lifestyles to see how you'd fit together and what their priorities are etc Is important. Eg do they go for weekends away all the time and have the expectations that's youd go with them.

Thanks everyone x

I have 4 and yes it does put men off sorry to say! Maybe one would be totally different though, most men don’t want to “take on” 4 kids.

@FreesiaFairy

These are inspirational stories, thanks ladies! 'filtering out shallow losers' haha. Well my little guy is pretty damn cool so anyone put off by him is clearly not our cup of tea anyway ...

Spot on way of looking at it.

I 'took on' 3. 20+ years later never regretted it. In fact we had another 2 together.

Big family has been great fun (mostly)

I was really worried about this especially as so few people on our community have parents. I met my partner when my son was three, we met via a dating agency, he didn’t know I had a child but the fact that we were ‘matched’ means he had put that he would be willing to date someone with a child. So I did have that bit of security.

He was very understanding as for the first sixish weeks I had very little childcare, so we would generally just have very quick lunch dates during the day. Hes always been good at following my lead and never assuming x, y or z are going to happen as progression had to depend on my son coping well.

I met DH in 2006 when DS1 was 2. I worked in a very female heavy job and having a young child made it hard to go out and meet anyone. I decided to look into speed dating (very popular then) and the website had an online dating section. I put on an advert but didn't include details of being a single young mum. DH messaged me and after a couple of weeks of chatting online I told him about DS.

The first 6 months were tricky, he found it hard that I couldn't just do whatever I wanted - I lived with my parents so pretty lucky with babysitting but couldn't just drop him. However it soon settled down and we haven't looked back. Been married 12 years now.

It's hard going, i thought it was just going to be DS and I forever, but worth trying it out!