So long term friend who lives three hours away has brushed me off again. Haven't seen her or her husband since last year. Suggested we use the Christmas restriction lifting period to meet up. All good in terms of bubbles, households and she has been texting me to say she misses me etc etc. Suggested they come down to us for a night and the next day as going out to eat problematic. We would cook and entertain them. Get a response after a few days wait saying they don't want to risk toilets in service stations so would prefer to meet halfway but wait...can't go out for a meal. So basically saying no to meeting up but in an indirect way that I had to ask her to clarify. Few texts later tells me they have been eating out in pubs. Not using the loo? Unlikely.
Background to this is that she was single for about ten years when her first husband left her. In that time she would come to stay with me every six weeks from Friday night to late Sunday night. At times this went up to every other week. I would invite her to most social events with my other friends including trips abroad. She would book to stay on her birthday and I would spoil her for the weekend. Then she met her second husband just as I was splitting from my husband.
Cue boot on other foot. I have rarely been invited to stay at her house, probably less than a handful in ten years, not invited to events with her friends, trips abroad dried up. She has an annual weekend with friends, never been asked. She has had a lot of problems remembering my birthday although it is a month after her and the day after a long term relationship she had with a married man. Ironically he wasn't around for her birthday because it was his wedding anniversary. However, she comes across as kind and caring generally and takes great pride in being seen this way.
I have a new partner who has recently moved in and have created a new life for myself after ten years on my own but I am feeling quite hurt and resentful as she could ask us to hers to eat and I very much expect that her husband has been in the pub everyday since lockdown was lifted. It's very much a friendship always on her terms. Meeting halfway would be three hours drive for us, fifteen minutes for them by the way! She also has this very indirect way of communicating. Intimating yes when she means no. In the past she would make plans with me but then talk about other plans the next time I saw her, kind of letting me down without actually saying it, weird. She stopped doing that when I confronted her about it.
Anyone have experience with this?