Partners Friends Habits

[Jkbop]

Hi All!

Just wanted an opinion on this and not sure if anyone has come across this. My partner is a lovely guy, very caring and kind. His friends on the other hand have always been quite cold and rude towards me and even interfered in our relationship only 2 of them have been pleasant in the group.

Despite their rude, insulting and unpleasant behaviour and comments I am civil and do not engage more than hello how are you to keep the peace.

6 months ago we moved into our new place. He decided to invite a few of the friends over. I planned a day to see friends and upon arrival I happened to walk into the living room to find his friend vaping in our newly painted lounge.

I was not happy and I addressed it straight and asked him politely to go outside. He went onto debate with me about how it isn’t harmful and humiliating me. I felt so uncomfortable in my own home. He’s not done this once he has repeated this several times when visiting my partner at home.

My partner does not seem to manage his friends well and seems to get carried away when they’re in our home. Before lockdown his friend had done the same thing and claimed he was charging his vape.

It’s created huge arguments between myself and my partner. I’m happy in a relationship with him we have no issues but he does not seem to understand or see his friends have no respect for our relationship but also our home. I feel like they trample all over us and when I speak out they make me feel so rubbish. It’s making me feel so anxious and miserable when they can’t even respect my wish of not smoking in my own home.

Would appreciate some advice how to tackle this with my partner.

I think the issue here is ur partner and not his friends . If he had any respect for u or ur home he would be joint with you on these matters. Team work. He should be telling his friends to respect his home and not vape in it If it’s a rule u both have . He should also be telling stepping in and stopping his friends being disrespectful to you. Why is he doing neither?

Is he kicking them
Out the door 😂 it's your house op . I really don't know why your putting up with it . My head would of gone by now . If this happens again just say look Iv told you time and time again to not smoke on my house now get out . That will make him feel like a dick ! If he mouth you just laugh . Prick . I hate men who bully women . And your boyfriend is a dick for not standing by you

I would be kicking them out the door I ment to say

So why is the ‘lovely guy’ ok with his group of friends being consistently ‘cold and rude’ and directing ‘rude, unpleasant and insulting behaviour and comments’ towards his partner? Are you suggesting they wait till he goes to the loo and then gang up on you, but are nice as pie when he’s back, and you have never mentioned it to him, so he’s completely unaware?

Hi All,

Thanks for your comments and very valid points. He should be standing by me and supportive especially when it comes to the treatment and the house. It’s 2 of the friends in particular and they do it when he isn’t there. I don’t actually understand what he sees in them. My friends think they’re a bunch of idiots and my family can’t stand half of them. It’s just a crap situation and I do feel helpless.

Anything they say or do is behind my partners back they deny, if talk to him he has a word but they continue or I leave him and it’s like they’re satisfied. The funny thing is I don’t even talk to them, contact them or see so I don’t understand what their issue is... guessing it’s jealousy

Be very wary of a man who doesn't support and defend you, because this isn't going to change. Your partner is a weak mug of a man. Combine that with his horrible choice of friends, and I would be seriously reevaluating the relationship.

Yes, tbh this would alarm me as a mark of his poor judgement. He sounds immature, as do they. Have you been together long?