Hello everyone. I’m trying to come to terms with what’s abusive in my marriage. The community here is very helpful. I’m supposed to have funds coming to me in the next month or so, and then I plan on rebuilding my life and returning to my home country.
So, I have type 1 diabetes, and the last time I had a severe low blood sugar episode and was quite out of it my husband called me a “loser” and said that I would never amount to anything in my life. ...Because I was struggling to bring my blood sugar back up? It cut me deep. I think that must be one of the worst things you could say to anyone. But he often does this when, for whatever reason, he is unhappy with me. He’s told me that no one else would want me. Called me almost every name in the book. I feel shattered. Never have I called him names or tried to chip away at his confidence, even when I’ve been absolutely furious. Would you accept this in your relationship?
He never apologizes for these things. He acts like it never happened. He broke my makeup a month ago... And he excused himself saying that he had a right to because he was upset. Then he accused me of having broken his things before, but I honestly never have. Anything I try to confront him about, he turns it all around and says that I’m the one doing those things or that I make him do it.
When he isn’t arguing with me he can appear to be sweet, but I feel as if I’m walking on eggshells all the time because if I try to open up to him about my feelings it gets ugly. I grew up in an abusive environment, I have no family to guide me, and I feel like my boundaries have been severely lacking. I feel so lost. I think I’ve bothered with him for so long because I liked that we have history and I didn’t want to lose another person.
I appreciate your opinions and advice.