I am losing my mind!

[demzoo112]

Hey💕

This could be quite long so i do apologize. I have been with my partner for just over 2 year. At the start of the relationship I wasn't jealous, or anything like that. But in the past year or so that has changed, I'm checking his phone, checking snapchat maps, not to see his location but him and my friend (girl) are always on and off at the exact same times. I know its my own fault for over thinking. I constantly quiz him about past relationships, and it bothers me. Like to the point where i get so annoyed and jealous. I've been looking at this thing called retroactive jealousy ocd and it sounds alot like myself. He doesn't go out with friends anymore because I've accused him that much, bearing in mind he has never once broken my trust. I don't know why im like this, but its ruining my mental health and relationship, any tips? Or is it maybe time for a trip to the docs?

I think you need to address this asap otherwise you’ll ruin the relationship. Were you cheated on before? Why do you feel so insecure? Perhaps some counselling and working on self esteem will help you.

Tbh, you frame this as ruining your own mental health and relationships but you've already damaged his which is why he isn't going out with his friends anymore.

He is in an abusive relationship so, yes, you do need to seek help and quickly.

You are emotionally abusing your partner.

You have isolated him from his support network and continue to abuse him about his past and his present.

You need to end this relationship, allow him to recover from this experience and work on yourself before you think about dating anyone again.

Below is an example list of some emotionally abusive behaviours I just got from a quick google about coercive control.

Coercive control is a crime - you need to realise how alarming and harmful your behaviour is.

•	Demanding to know your whereabouts and who you are with all the time 
•	Monitoring your communication channels such as text messages or email 
•	Using technology or other methods to track your movements 
•	Making uni-lateral decisions for all parties such as changing plans or creating joint bank accounts (more broadly, abusers may seek to control the finances as a form of dominance and to restrict your freedom) 
•	Withholding affection as a form of punishment 
•	Coercing or intimidating you to spend all your time with them (emotional abusers can often be jealous and try to disguise jealousy or insecurity as love and passion, when it is used as a mechanism to guilt you into spending all your time with them) 
•	Isolating you from family, friends, and/or coworkers (emotional abusers often try to ensure they are the main or the only influence in your life)

I agree with prev posters, I've been in a relationship like this , my ex was as you are. It's ruined my mental health and is no fun. I think the kindest thing would be to end this relationship, let your partner heal and do some hard intensive work on yourself before entering into another relationship. It's good that you recognise your problem and understand that you need help to adjust your mindset, but you really need to be honest here about what this is. It's abusive and will be ruining more than just your relationship.

Firstly, well done for realising something is wrong, secondly well done for trying to pin point what it is. Read the post about coercive control. Get help immediately and let go of this relationship so your partner can heal. Heal yourself then when you are ready you can move on. You can get help and you can get better. Good luck OP.