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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband and football

28 replies

Anonymousallie · 10/12/2020 12:08

Husband is and always will be a massive football fan. Now we’re in tier 2, stadiums can have up to 2000 fans back in.

We never spoke about it but it was brought up in conversation he wasn’t fussed about going and would rather keep safe, especially with Christmas coming up and hoping to see family members. So his friend phoned him today and said he’d managed to get them both tickets for next weeks game. I haven’t said anything but I’m pretty annoyed he’s choosing to go. I know they’re doing it in groups and their group got chosen to have tickets so chances are slim of them getting another game anytime soon but what if that one time is all it takes.

Am I overreacting or should I just keep quiet and let him get on with it? I haven’t seen my friends in months and was keeping away from them to protect others but just thinking why should i bother if he doesn’t?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 10/12/2020 12:21

I think you're overreacting. Probably best to have a chat with him about it though

whynotwhen · 10/12/2020 12:23

Honestly, the stadiums have put in pretty good safety precautions for this. At the end of the day the clubs are DYING for fans to come back for the revenue, they won't do anything to jeopardise it. IMO it's probably safer than going to the supermarket provided he social distances from his own friends

Original poster
Anonymousallie · 10/12/2020 12:24

@whynotwhen yes I did think this! I do think I am just worrying a bit too much about it, I just want to be able to see everyone at Christmas Grin

OP posts:
Aerial2020 · 10/12/2020 12:24

Why aren't your seeing friends? You can meet if follow the guidelines.

clary · 10/12/2020 12:26

Omg please let him go! We are in tier 3 and so is our team... Boys are desperate to go to a real match again. Just some shred if normality and what they love.

Aerial2020 · 10/12/2020 12:29

Plus he's a grown man. It shouldn't be a case of letting him, he can decide himself.
If you're uncomfortable about it, tell him.

It's been a crap year, wouldn't it be nice to have some time out from it all? Can do that safely.

StCharlotte · 10/12/2020 12:32

Let him go!

My DH went to the test game back in the summer and it was fine. He's desperate to go to a game but hasn't been in the right priority group yet.

I'm also desperate for him to go so I can have have some leisure alone time 😊

(Also they're not serving alcohol which should help.)

Original poster
Anonymousallie · 10/12/2020 12:36

It’s not that I’m not letting him go, he can do what he wants!! It’s not even going to the football, it’s the socialising with other people; I do not know what the seating is like/ the going in and out of the stadium so it was just a bit worrying. I haven’t seen my friends as I think it’s difficult keeping to the guidelines (one of my friends mum is extremely vulnerable and she wants to see her over Christmas), so I am just looking out for everyone else

OP posts:
SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 10/12/2020 12:39

Your DH going to a football match won't affect your friend or her mum.

He should absolutely go and have a fabulous time.

Fiddlersgreen · 10/12/2020 12:39

If you “do not know what the seating is like/ the going in and out of the stadium” then why are you posting without even looking up the situation??
Unless you are in tier 3, you can see your friends carefully and safely

Original poster
Anonymousallie · 10/12/2020 12:40

@seasonallysnowypeasant - no, my friend meeting me could affect her mum, she is worried so that’s why I haven’t seen her. Nothing to do with him

OP posts:
SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 10/12/2020 12:43

Ah ok, fair enough. It's a shame you can't haven't seen your friends but that's no reason for him not to see his.

Original poster
Anonymousallie · 10/12/2020 12:46

@seasonallysnowypeasent no i do agree! I trust him and his friends to be safe. It’s just everyone else that worries me, I know I’m overreacting and I do want him to go. I just end up getting myself in a panic over nothing 😅

OP posts:
HopeAndDriftWood · 10/12/2020 12:46

Stadiums are probably up there with the safest places right now... everything has been analysed to keep people apart, and places that usually hold tens of thousands of people are now holding 2000.

I haven’t seen my friends in months and was keeping away from them to protect others but just thinking why should i bother if he doesn’t?

I think it's a judgement call per friend, rather than isolating yourself from everyone. If you have friends with vulnerable family members, or whom are vulnerable themselves, it makes sense not to see them... but then you'd be bothering for them, not because your husband was doing the same. If your friends are low-risk and happy to see you, see them as safely as you can.

helloxhristmas · 10/12/2020 13:11

Dh went last week. Small club no seats opened, standing only, apparently there was no SD, given that he's a teacher in secondary I couldn't get bothered about it, mixing with 300+ kids a day.

For us going in to London on a tube and train to the PL club would have been more of a risk, but better SD.

User158340 · 10/12/2020 13:15

Dh went last week. Small club no seats opened, standing only, apparently there was no SD

Depends what the ground is. If it's non-league then it's a small stadium so 1 or 2 thousand can be difficult to fully distance although it's all in the outdoors so low chance of transmission.

A big Premier League ground though they all have to wear a mask and 2000 are spread out with extensive safety measures in place. You'd be more likely to pick it up on the tube or the bus going to the ground then the ground itself.

You're more likely to catch it out Christmas shopping or in the supermarket.

helloxhristmas · 10/12/2020 13:17

@User158340

Dh went last week. Small club no seats opened, standing only, apparently there was no SD

Depends what the ground is. If it's non-league then it's a small stadium so 1 or 2 thousand can be difficult to fully distance although it's all in the outdoors so low chance of transmission.

A big Premier League ground though they all have to wear a mask and 2000 are spread out with extensive safety measures in place. You'd be more likely to pick it up on the tube or the bus going to the ground then the ground itself.

You're more likely to catch it out Christmas shopping or in the supermarket.

Totally agree. Small ground, they're I be old VX league nit sure what it's called now. Travelling to Chelsea would be better there but more Exposure on the way.
helloxhristmas · 10/12/2020 13:18

Spelling, sorry, my screen is cracked!!

strangertimes · 10/12/2020 13:40

You not seeing your friends is your choice. His life shouldn’t be dictated by you and what you decide to do about your friends. Sorry but you’re being weird. If you were going through Chemo or at serious risk of harm then fair enough but in the nicest possible way get a grip love. If you want to be a sheep and go to stupid extremes that’s your business but stop trying to ruin other people’s lives. He’s not breaking any rules. Stop being one of “those” people who think they know better than every scientist in the country. And if your husband does get poorly then it’s probably just a cold anyway so you just need to start being normal and stop being dramatic

Dery · 10/12/2020 13:45

My DH and I went to a game earlier this week. The football grounds are managing the situation very carefully. I felt completely safe.

Original poster
Anonymousallie · 10/12/2020 13:46

@strangertimes not once have I ever said I think I know better than top scientists 🤦‍♀️ We both have vulnerable family who HE pointed out we have to think about if we want to see them at Christmas, not me. I was simply asking if I was Overreacting which I have already established I was. Not dictating anyone’s life or telling anyone what they can or can’t do. Just worried incase it isn’t just a “cold”

OP posts:
Dery · 10/12/2020 13:46

Didn’t read all the replies before posting. I was at a premiership stadium.

BeeDavis · 10/12/2020 14:03

It’s scary how much this virus has instilled fear in people. Put your big girl pants on and let him go. As a keen rugby league fan, I would give my left arm to attend a game after not being able to for 9 months.

Original poster
Anonymousallie · 10/12/2020 14:15

@BeeDavis of course he can go, I’m not stopping him in any way 😭 but you are right, it is the fear thats made me like this!

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 10/12/2020 14:46

I haven't seen but someone was commenting that at the Liverpool match there was virtually no social distancing and they all had their masks under their chin.
You can't dictate what he does I agree, but I wouldn't be happy