Secretly arranging new accommodation

[Anon2234]

I need to leave my marriage.
Has anyone ever secretly rented out new accommodation without their H knowing. I won't be able to take anything with me when I leave so I need to have everything set up ready. I wondered if when a landlord does credit checks etc there would be any chance of my H finding out.

It would be a good idea to speak to someone at Women's Aid about that. It's so important to be safe. Hope all goes well.

I borrowed money off a relative. A neighbour held me sort a van. I left dh a note and left when he was at work...
Took mostly dc stuff. Nothing from the flat as he had paid for everything... If you have paid half, take half.

I have a friend who did this a few years ago to escape an abusive relationship. She did it by hiring an Airbnb for a couple of weeks and then finding accommodation. Can you do this or do you have friends you can stay with?

You say you can't take anything with you but could you sneak a few bits out to a friends house just so you have sentimental things you don't want to leave?

Most importantly are you in danger? If you are unsafe where can you call a women's refuge?

I'm not in immediate danger.

I' will start sneaking photos, documents out. I do have a friend who is up for helping me.

I won't be able to take anything as he is working from home at the moment. I just need to leave for work one day and not go back. I'm work full time so I'm able to start getting bits of furniture. I've already been put aside small amounts of money.

Can you call woman's aid today

They can advise where to go and how to get the support you need

My local WA also offer clothes/ furniture etc so def consider this

How many will be leaving ?

Luckily I was in a position to go to my parents. My main thing I took and hid, passports, birth certificates etc all imprudent documents like that. Banking stuff, cash if you have it, I bought new clothes and things and started stock piling else where, took me a while to go because I was terrified even though I had somewhere to go. You are amazing. Women’s aid and domestic violence helpline really helped me, I didn’t know MN was a website, took me months to work out what to do, I left and went back many times

Some brilliant advice. Thank you all, it’s very much appreciated.

I rented out a house without my stbxh's knowledge. I started to arrange for deliveries and furniture etc once I had the tenancy in place so that I didn't have to move into an empty house.

The credit checks etc were just on me as the only applicant.