Dealing with idiot behaviour from brother

[MissEverdene]

DB and I live together in a house on the family farm..We are both in our mid-20s. My parents in another house on the farm.

He is generally affectionate and easy to live with, but he is much more social than me and has a tendency to drink too much.

At the weekend I woke up, getting a call from him in the middle of the night wanting a lift home from his mate's house. Roads were completely frozen as there is no salt lorry here. I de-iced the car, lifted him (half blocked after 10 beers plus wine). Turned out his friend need dropped home in the opposite direction. Left him off.

Got home and could smell smoke off him. He had previously quit. He finally stopped lying and admitted that he smokes on nights out "cause when you're drinking you can't say no".

THEN he told me he wanted to go check on something on the farm. I assumed on foot. He walked out then I heard the car engine start. He drove about 100 yards up the public road then onto our ground, took pictures of the sunrise, came home and went to sleep all day.

I told this to my dad and he just tutted. What doI actually do to discourage this kind of selfish behaviour?

Don't answer the phone to him in the middle of the night and certainly say no to picking him up.....unless prearranged. He can get a cab or walk.

Don't go and pick him up
Move out

Stop giving him lifts? Other than that, nothing! he's an adult. I

I agree, all you can do is say no. If he lived alone he'd have to find his own way home.

I should have left him really, but I was afraid he might get a lift with a drunk friend...

You need to tell him to get a taxi no matter how much it costs him next time, it was selfish of him to call you out, tired and in icy conditions.

You are both a similar age, you are not his mother, so just do t pick him up. Make it clear before he goes out next time that you won't be picking him up. You've set a poor precedent now, so he may well expect that you'll do it again. Just put your phone on silent at night. It's not up to you to moderate his behaviour, or prevent him making bad choices, he has to live with his own consequences. You see, if you succeed in preventing him getting done by police for drink driving, he might not learn a lesson before it's too late.