My husband and I have been together for almost 6 years. Throughout that time his mom has ridiculed and criticized me...and it’s getting worse. I tried to be accommodating and kind to her, but I’ve given up.
A couple of years ago I left my husband for a brief time when his behavior spun out of control. He’d become abusive, physically and mentally, and I no longer felt safe. He’s no longer drinking and I hoped that we eventually overcame the worst of it. However, his mom has been insulting me about it ever since, believing that everything is my fault...and getting him to believe that, too. She’s called me names to him, poked fun at the fact that I’m half Jewish. I feel that she’s actually quite a toxic woman. And my husband does nothing to defend me. When I try to open up to him about how I feel he shuts me down and makes excuses for her, even going so far as to say that he understands why she feels that way about me.
Today he told me that she’s coming over for Christmas. Even though we’re supposed to be isolating due to the threat of Coronavirus... I told him that, if that’s happening, I will leave and go for a long walk somewhere so that he can have time with his mother without it damaging my mental health so much. He freaked out and started arguing with me, saying I owe it to him to be there when she comes over and that my leaving and refusing to accompany them means I don’t care about him. He called her a “normal, healthy mom.” And now, at the end of the argument, he told me I will be spending Christmas alone at our apartment while he celebrates with his mom. He called her and made this arrangement. And now I’m getting his famous silent treatment because he expects me to be the one to come to him and apologize.
I feel like I’m about to pull my hair out. This makes me feel like I don’t know if this relationship is worth me sticking around. Any opinions or advice would be so appreciated.