Still Heartbroken Help!

[Mermaidwaves]

I had my heart badly broken this year, FWB who I foolishly fell head over heels for, my fault. Nearly 4 months on from him ending it to be with someone else I'm still a wreck. I dream about him at night and I get flashbacks to his face, voice and times we spent together. I've tried hypnosis, seeing friends, keeping busy, meditation and just trying to forget him but I'm still tearful and missing him. I start the day positive and happy but by the evening I'm anxious and thinking about him and his girlfriend. I genuinely worry I won't ever be happy again and time doesn't seem to be healing. Please can I hear postive stories where people have grieved like I am now but where you have moved on and found peace, I'm feeling desperate

It's quite often the evenings is worse, I understand that, you have to find something to distract yourself in the evenings, something you enjoy watching, an online course? You will move on from him, having been through quite a few heartbreaks I find peace in that they can no longer hurt me, I don't have to feel stress and build up my self esteem by becoming a stronger woman that no longer takes any more bs. It's bit like a clean slate, you can plan in your mind what kind of relationship and person you would like to find next and what you have learnt from the previous one and what you will do differently to avoid the last drama.

You will move on, when you find a connection with someone more meaningful next time, you will wonder why you ever let last one use you in that way.

If your someone that can easily get attached to someone then step away from the fwb type situations, they do more harm than good, only give yourself to someone that really proves to want you.

I have definately learnt some valuable lessons. I have done FWB briefly before but I never got attached to those like I did him, my attraction to him was like nothing I've experienced before. I won't ever do it again though as I feel I deserve more, I want a man to want me for more than just sex.

I try distracting myself in the evenings by watching films and keeping off my phone but the feeling of anxiety is so awful then. I know what you mean by a clean slate though, I have a good idea in my mind what my expectations are for the future.

Oh @Mermaidwaves I've been there so many times ! You do get over it trust me.

Hi Mermaid recognise you from commenting on my thread.

Same here...it's rubbish isn't it x

I play online scrabble when I'm in the evening head space. The evening head space is so different to the morning headspace. Make sure you are rid of all reminders of him-photos, texts etc as looking at them isn't conducive to recovery. I think this time of year is also harder for this stuff. I'm also trying to work on my revenge body by lifting weights and running which lifts my mood Hopefully in time I know I will be working on me for me but it just takes time to get him out of your head space. You will feel better. When I remember how I felt about previous heartbreaks as compared to how i feel about the men now (WTF was I thinking /I'm so glad that didn't work out/why was I so bothered about him/he repulses me) it does give me some perspective that it's just a matter of time and of just one person in the future coming into my life that is interested in me as a person and not just looking for casual sex. I think the FWB stuff is best avoided for me as I always get feelings, no matter how incompatible we are.

@lollipoprainbow I cant imagine feeling better as I just don't seem to be healing

@notsurewhattodo22 I hope you're ok? It truly is rubbish, I never want to feel like this again

@moirarosebabay I'm trying to look after myself too as revenge, a bit like if he sees me I'm looking my best. A bit silly I know but like you I'm hoping over time it will be for me, not him.

I don't seem to be getting better either. I'm crying everyday still.

Hi Mermaid, sorry you're still not feeling good. Remember you from previous threads, I'm still feeling sad about mine, too. He's blocked me mostly everywhere. 😔 I don't have much advice, sorry.

@Namechanged1122
@notsurewhattodo22

I'm sorry you're both still hurting, my heart goes out to you both xx

Is it partly due to this awful year? 2020 has been so vile in general my feelings seem to fit the theme somehow, I'm writing 2020 off as the covid/shit men year. I'm genuinely hoping that by next year things seem better all over and I can start feeling happier and start living again. I wish the same for you both too.

It's like a bereavement, I start crying out of nowhere now, nothing has to trigger it necessarily.
It is the general sense that things are not "normal", doesn't help.

I was in touch with mine all day up until a month ago. I'm missing that so much, I can't believe how I got it so wrong too, I really thought he cared and never thought he'd drop me like this.

I don't know how to get over it and nothing seems to help. X

@Mermaidwaves do you see yours anymore?

I won't see mine again. I think I really trusted him foolishly and everything he said. I can't comprehend he isn't that person I thought.

You definitely will get over him. In all truth I wasn't fully over mine until I met someone else. Not my current bf, but someone I liked and had hope with (then he dumped me!!). I took a long time to be single and bring my kids up. And I was over him, mainly, after a year or so. But I had lonely moments where the grief would swell up and take over again.

You will get there.

I know this is an old thread but I'm heartbroken still after months.

I just want the pain to stop.

@Chipswithgravy33
I'm the OP to this thread and I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Eight months on I don't feel so terrible any more, I'm still single and feel sadness often but that overwhelming pain has passed a bit now. I truly hope you feel better soon