Is this a normal response?

[Livinlovin]

I have been seeing my bf for just over a year now, its been a rough ride so far as I have MH issues due to a bad childhood. I also had a bad experience with my ex which upset me badly and has made my current MH worse. This has taken its toll and I've been having near constant rows with my bf, sometimes because I'm being irrational, but also his tendency to overreact and say things in anger that I struggle to let go of.

I took a bit of a dive a few months ago and I'm currently on sertraline and propranolol. Things have got worse and I'm suffering flashbacks and nightmares so my GP has just given me diazepam. When I told my bf (diazepam is a big deal for me and an indication of how low I've fallen) his response was "doesn't diazepam make you horny".

Is that a normal response?

It's normal for him.
You don't sound well matched.

No.

Well you know what’s on his mind.

More about his needs than yours.

Why are you with him?

Relationships are supposed to improve your life not make it harder.

Why is your life better with him in it?

I'm so messed up

Couldn't he have just been trying to make a joke, and inject some lightness to make you laugh? My bf does it and I really appreciate it as it stops me getting too low, and it does make me smile.

If you don't like it and are constantly arguing, then you're clearly incompatible. Just end it, will be the kindest thing for you both.

Also maybe you should take time being alone till you're in a better head space as it seems like you have a lot on your plate.

Does he makes you happy the majority of the time?

Would you be happier alone?

Are you going to counselling to help you through this difficult yet time? You will get through it. I know it must be incredibly hard for you.

When has your gp suggested reviewing your medication, as if it’s not helping it may be time to consider changing again. I don’t know if two months on it is long enough to call it a fair trial or not. What did the gp say?

He is either a bit stupid or really insensitive or both. Not sounding good though.

This is a bad relationship for both of you.

Eh, it sounds like something my ex would say and he was a sex pest. He could relate the color of the sky to sex, he was obsessed with it.

Elieza I have to ring my GP just before Christmas to let her know how I am. She has put me on the referral list for counselling.

Thanks for the responses.

I wouldn't end the relationship based on one stupid comment, but on the fact that you say in your OP you're having near constant rows. I don't think you're ready for a relationship OP, and I think this one is probably hindering your recovery.

Op you are not messed up, you're having a rough patch and boyfriend seems quite useless. It was a very inappropriate thing to say given the circumstances. I hope that you have other people in your life, either parents/siblings/friends etc who you can lean on? 🌼

“I wouldn't end the relationship based on one stupid comment, but on the fact that you say in your OP you're having near constant rows. I don't think you're ready for a relationship OP, and I think this one is probably hindering your recovery.”

This. I think the comment could have been meant as a joke. Or maybe not. But what seems clear from your post is that you’re not suited and the relationship is a source of stress and unhappiness for you. Perhaps also for him. But it’s how you feel that counts. Unless a relationship is a source of pleasure, nurture and security for you, it’s not the right relationship.

It sounds like you are in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship, rather than it being a positive part of your life. Constant rows is not a great thing. Maybe being single with some therapy is the way to go until you are in a better place

Unless a relationship is a source of pleasure, nurture and security for you, it’s not the right relationship.

You're right. Thank you.

Thanks everyone