Every person I date breaks up with me around date 10

[Daisybee3]

I’ve been single about 2 years. Last 8 months I’ve been dating. I always meet someone nice. We get along great and after about 7-10dates there is not much to talk about. Like we used all the topics possible. And he usually lose interest (me too to be honest-dates become more and more quiet and I become anxious). It’s the vicious cycle and I feel like I will forever be single. Anyone ever felt like this? What’s wrong with me? Or am I just not meeting the right people ?

Seems like they just weren't right, with the right person they or you won't give up so easily and conversation flows, just like friendships some are fleeting and some are lifelong friends although they can be few and far between, sorry to hear this though it must be frustrating.

Dating is more about attraction and chemistry than sparkling conversation. Did you actually fancy any of these men?

Not the right people yet or that you are quite reserved and will only speak if spoken to.
Try to ask why and how questions to get the other person to get going and see if you can find anything that interests you. Imagine you are a chat show host and you need to find out more about the other person 😆 after all you should be looking for a partner/friend first and foremost, not just a passionate lover who you can’t talk to.
Conversation should flow if you are both interested in a subject. Each offering their own opinions and questions, which will lead to more opinions and questions, et voila! A wonderful easy conversation.
I used to find it difficult to talk to men till I met my husband. Now we often talk to the early morning after the kids have gone to bed. We didn’t even have anything in common at first. Just sheer fascination and wanting to know more about each other.

There was definitely chemistry ... with some more with some less.. but chemistry for me doesn’t carry the relationship - I want a good friend in partner

I would suggest that by date 7 or so you should start to feel somewhat comfortable with small silences and not needing to fill every void with mindless chatter as you both just enjoy the walk / meal / movie etc

Do you get anxious if there is a silence and try to fill it?

What are you doing on these dates?. If its pub and restaurant each time then im not suprised. try activity based dates that take pressure off convo then you have a new experience you have shared to talk about later.

This is what I don’t really understand about dating these days. Back in my day online dating was still a bit taboo, and generally people stayed single for years until they met someone they really clicked with.

These days it seems like people are lining up dates non stop, like throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks.

The odds are you just haven’t met the right person yet. When it’s right it all just flows and you don’t even need to think about it.

Has anything physical happened by those stages? I'd expect by date 7 or so to be at least kissing if not having sex and that brings another level of intimacy/discussion to the table because that's when you start spending more time in the bedroom than at the table. Are you attracted to them? And them you?

Do you not talk about your days/the future? My friend has a similar problem and is just a smidge too serious and tries very hard to be the perfect person. Shes actually fantastic; kind, very very funny, loyal as they come. I just wish that she would let people see it.

Are you anxious to say the right thing or are you being authentically yourself?

What type of dates do you have? Do you do any activities with them to give you some common ground that will let conversation flow?

You’re not right or you were just having an off night.

There’s a man I talk with almost daily when gaming . Most days we have each other laughing and have something to talk about - work, life in general etc. He’s 3000miles away - some days we catch up and there’s not much we do talk about, usually not much big but still enjoy each other’s company and the game. There’s a beauty in the quiet moments too so not having something to talk about isnt always bad.

I, too, am frustrated with dating. Have a similar problem and it’s someone 3000miles away I click with and feel at ease with over recent dates. I wonder what the hell is wrong with me tbf. I’m not dull.

First date is usually out and I admit a lot of dates after is quick drink and my / his place cuddling, sex, Netflix. I think I just became very anxious person because of my ex (5 years when he kept calling me boring - I never thought i am until him - I felt like fun and chatty) and when there is moment silence I feel anxious and like he is not interested

If you've only been dating people for the last 8 months it's possible the pandemic has also had an impact - there is a lot less to do and talk about at the moment!
But in general you probably just haven't met the right one yet or are persevering too long with people you don't actually have an interest in.
You've obviously been in relationships before, you know how it feels when you meet someone who lights a spark in you, in every way.
Don't put too much expectation on 'dating' to find someone, enjoy it as an opportunity to meet new people, try new places and at some point, someone you really like and who really likes you will pop up.

would you be willing to try more 'activity' dates. Sitting around watching netflix would bore me on early dates and I'd probably look elsewhere. It's meant to be exciting!

Obviously covid has put a big spanner in works but think creatively!. Xx

I have a bit of social anxiety so feel uncomfortable going out on adventurous dates in early relationships (strange I know but most relationships started home where I felt comfortable and build up to exciting times and travelling ...)

Do you talk about meaningful stuff? One of my best friends has been single for ages (never has more than a few dates) and I'm convinced it's because she never gets past the light and fluffy convos. She thinks she'd come across as too intense if she asked how they feel about their past relationships or what really makes them happy or what they feel insecure about. I think that's the most interesting stuff (and how you really get to know someone).

Sitting around watching netflix would bore me on early dates and I'd probably look elsewhere. It's meant to be exciting!

This.

Sitting around watching Netflix isn't what you're supposed to do in the early days!

Go out - do things. I know COVID makes it harder but in my early dating days with DH we did things like go to the zoo, trips to the beach, picnics, the odd walk or hike, drives out of the pub for lunch. It gives you plenty to talk about!

So you're filling the gap because you have a faulty core belief 'he might find me boring'. And then you are probably coming across not well because you are not being you.