How do you start over

[Exofanaddict]

I've just turned 30 and I have nothing. Back home living with my parents after my relationship broke down due to my ex's drug abuse. I just feel like I'm 30 and stuck and I have nothing. My sibling has just announced she will be moving out and I just feel like I lost everything in life and it's just so pathetic. I try to go on as if I'm fine and happier now but it's so lonely when everyone else has someone.

Not sure what I'm looking for here. Even just for someone to understand.

I went through the same with a 2 month old baby. It's a horrible feeling but it will get easier.

I don't really have much advice but just a hand hold to say it won't be like this forever and it's just a pause where there's so much unknown. But you'll find your path again xxx

Is it weird I'm even jealous of the baby cause at least you still had something that was worth it!
Bloody irrational and I hate being anything but happy for my sister.

Honestly it wasn't. Cos not only had my life fallen apart but his had too and he was unaware.

Don't worry about your sibling. People do different things at different points in their life.

Are you stable enough financially to rent a flat?

I understand that I know it's completely irrational. I just feel I wasted so many years!
I actually moved home whilst trying to fix the relationship 2 years ago and the full break down came during lockdown which obviously hasn't helped things. Just saving and hoping I can get deposit enough to at least get somewhere alone. But even just the idea of having to start dating again is awful! But now I'm 30 if I ever want kids you have to start at some point.
How long has it been for you?

I wouldn't fret, you're just in a transition phase. I felt similar when I ended up back at my mums in my late twenties after breaking up with my ex who I had been with for almost a decade.

A few short years later my life was unrecognisable. I was married with two gorgeous DC and living in a beautiful house at the other end of the country. Life is a series of ups and downs, ride the wave OP!

It was a year for me. I was very fortunate to have a good job at the time that paid well once my son went to nursery. But the shock of being a new single mum on mat leave was not the ideal parenting plan.

I was 29 when that happened and now 32 and engaged to a lovely man who I've know for years. (Long story short, always been interested in now fiancé - always bad timing before I was pregnant. fwb got me pregnant- short but fake relationship followed by breakup now with previous friend and very happy).

You've not missed the boat on anything. You will find someone, more likely when we can actually socialise with people. Life can be a total rollercoaster and throw everything at you. So many MNetters will have had turbulent times. However that doesn't make your feelings less valid.

Look after yourself first. Self care is what you will need to heal.

Just be kind to yourself and rebuild. Forget about what stage others are at in their lives and have a long think about what you really want and take positive steps to make it happen. 30 is no age - be grateful you decked off a loser and enjoy some single life for a while

Thank you
@badwill and @catworrier I'm glad to hear it has worked out for you both and as you mentioned it may be easier when we're actually allowed out.. Guess it's back to putting one foot in front of another for now and keeping up the savings.
Thank you though for making me feel a little less crazy.