Is it my fault that my daughter is questioning FC?

[Hushmush]

Earlier on I asked my daughter to go into my dressing table drawer to get something that she needed. Meanwhile she decided to go into my wardrobe- which isn’t part of my dressing table, and found some presents hidden under a dressing gown. She confessed to what she’d done and started to question Father Christmas. I felt really sad for her and explained that sometimes parents buy presents too and she was fine. When she went to bed, my OH told me it was my fault for asking her to get something out of my dressing table- that I should have known she’d go looking in our wardrobe for things. He said- you’re not thick, surely you’d know. It’s not her fault it’s yours, you’d should have known better. I feel so upset and feel like I’ve ruined it for her. He said I’d lead her to do it by asking her to go to my bedroom. We’d been in there earlier and wouldn’t let her in the room but made our excuses as to why she couldn’t come in.

Is it my fault?

Why is it a big issue that demands blame? She nosied around, you guys had been acting suspiciously earlier in the day, at some point she's going to work it out anyway. Not sure why you're fighting about it. Your OH sounds a bit of a jerk.

No it’s not your fault. It’s just one of those things. No need to cast any blame.

My DD once saw a picture on my phone of DH wrapping one of FC’s presents. I think I managed to come up with a plausible story. DH didn’t “blame me” though.

I used to say that parents do help Santa. Before he could deliver all the presents on his sleigh, but with such big cities these days, and so many people, he needs help. And he asks parents to get some of the pressies, the elves tell the parents where to get them. It is a great honour to be Santa's helper and we must keep it hush hush. So that applies when you take children shopping for presents for someone else.
It worked for a good while.

I think it's good they slowly work it out. Then you don't need to do the big confession when they start secondary school and still believe. Tell your dh to chill out and stop killing your Xmas vibe.

It's her fault for nosing around the wardrobe.

It's both parents faults for not hiding the presents somewhere better.

My parents hid my presents on the top shelf of their wardrobe. I used to unwrap them a bit, find out what they were, and rewrap them.

By the time a kid goes nosing for presents they've worked out they aren't coming from fc anyway.

Tell your husband to get over it.

Seems a bit OTT from your DH.

I mean, yes he has a point but it’s hardly crime of the century.

Maybe he should actually organise Christmas presents for a change.

Many people say that they buy gifts to send to Santa. My mum used to say this to me.
I never found any presents but I think she told me this so that I knew that she had got them for me and could have the credit instead of Santa.

Why is your OH being an arsehole about it, that's the bigger question?

Why does there need to be fault?

Questioning things is what children do. It's not surprising that they would question a huge fantasy that doesn't stand up to basic scrutiny.

Your husband sounds mean

Father Christmas only bought modest stocking gifts in our house, the big stuff was from us, far easier that way

Wow 😯
He’s MEAN
What an ass

I had to guess what FC meant, until I read your post. If it was SC (Santa Claus) that would have made sense, lol. It depends on the age of your daughter, you don't say her age. If she's like 9 or 10 upwards then it can't hurt to tell her the truth. But without knowing her actual age, it's hard to give advice.

I do think your OH sounds rather highly strung and is taking this far more seriously than he should, and he should get over himself.

I think I was about 10 when I realised Santa wasn't real. Purely by logical deduction. We had an above ground pool, and I saw my dad fill a large bucket with water gotten directly from the pool - for the reindeer. I wondered why he would give the reindeer chlorinated pool water, instead of filling the bucket with tap water. I thought that wasn't very nice, giving the reindeer a bucket of water from the pool. I saw him tip the bucket into the pool the next day. I guess I put 1 and 1 together and figured it out.

It was your fault. Should have known little hands and eyes would look. Not a major problem and not a DH issue unless he's telling you you've ruined Christmas for everyone. They work it out eventually. If you brought it up and asked then he answered. You both should have made more effort to hide the presents if you want to keep them secret.

It isn't your 'fault'. Dressing table and wardrobe aren't the same thing. You couldn't have predicted it.

Maybe store the presents in the loft from now on?

I think you are completely over reacting.

DC find out at some point about Father Christmas - often by accident (overhearing or finding something). It's normal development

It happens all the time. Just give those gifts from you and the rest from Santa. How old is she btw? Your dh sounds a bit of an ass!

I agree with midnight.

We always just said the stocking was from FC. Tbh from the age of 5 or 6 they pretty much know the impossibility of it all anyway. You will need to find another hiding place though op, once they know where the goodies are they will hunt. Your DH is being a dick.