Maybe I am out of order

[NewStart23]

Hey
I’m recently separated from my husband for various reasons. He doesn’t accept the reasons and says I must have someone else!
Anyway, for our current situation we are having to live together for the next few months. We have kids also. He has signed up to various dating apps etc and is messaging approx 8 women, met up with 1, meeting another one in a couple of days, and speaks to one several times a day on FaceTime.
Now, yes I ended the relationship, he us 10000% entitled to do all of this which I support which is why he is so open about it, but he has told me I’m not allowed to speak to another man, I’m not allowed to date another man till the kids are at least 21. He gives me a hard time if I go out of the house without him or the kids, I get questioned why do I wear spot cream, why am I wearing that top etc. As we all are, we are currently on lockdown, and where we are we have a 9pm curfew. I work in a bar, we close around 8.45 and then have to clean which on a weekend can take 1-2 hours meaning we don’t finish till gone 11. (We have a curfew waiver for work which extends to 11pm) I have not been out for a meal, drink etc with my friends for so long. This weekend my best friend who is also my boss, and I decided after work, let’s take duvets and pillows, snacks and a few drinks and have a drink in the bar and sleep there till curfew finishes at 5am. I mentioned this to soon to be ex and he hit the roof saying I was so out of order. I will be staying with a man etc I said I would send photos or videos to prove I was there but he was having non of it. I said I’m not going to go anyway now it doesn’t matter.
Am I in the wrong here, I get sleeping in a bar isn’t ideal but there are sofas we though we would chill on and just let our hair down
Xx

He's got no right to dictate what you do, and you really shouldn't be playing into his bullshit by "proving" where you are = it's none of his business.

If you're afraid of him, then by all means do what you have to do to stay safe. If you are at risk from him, you should seek help to leave or get him removed.

I would try and speed up getting out of the same household if you can.

What are you doing? Repeat after me "it's non of your business what I do". You haven't split in your mind properly, because, you should not be concerned with what he wants anymore. You need to get used to cutting ties, as does he. Why on earth are you not going, just because he doesn't want you to? It's not up to him, if he says you are doing whatever with whoever, so what? Not his business. You can see who you want, when you want, and as for not dating till kids are 21 . Yea, like that should fly.

Actually, I think you need to stop running things by him before you do them. Like the sleepover, just turn up later in the morning, what's it got to do with him - I bet you look after the DC when he's on dates ( unless old enough now to care for themselves). Just disengage .

What do you mean ‘ allowed ‘ . Are you in some type of trouble with the law and have restrictions on you ?
Other than that tell him to duck off . Who the hell does he think he is telling you who to date what to wear etc
I’m assuming rightly that you don’t listen to one word of his crap and date and wear whatever the hell you want . If I were you I’d deliberately join every dating site I could just to rub it in the jerks nose

If it's safe, go on this sleep over thing tell your ex, because that is what he is now,, that has looking after the kids (I'd have a back up plan in place just in case he decides to try and play silly buggers)

You certainly are not being out of order, even if you were still a couple, you should still be able to go for a night out with the girls etc.

Oh and if you support 1000% his right to date ... surely you should be thinking that 1000% you can date to?

Also have you asked him why it’s ok for him to date when his children are not yet 21 . Is he planning on never seeing them until they are adults or does he just plan to keep his gfs a secret and see them when he hasn’t got the kids ?
If it’s the later and he plans on seeing them when he is kid free why can you not do the same and see men when he has the children
I cannot believe the audacity of this guy

Why are you allowing him to tell you what to do? How come he’s allowed to date but you’re not? Was he this controlling when you weren’t separated?

This is ridiculous he knows it and so do you

Yes it’s hurtful after a break up when you see your ex moving on but that doesn’t mean you behave like a controlling psycho with lets face it beyond ridiculous double standards

You either both agree to be discreet about things until he can move out and you both have space or u both get to openly date / do what u want

Frankly I’d have told him to fuck right off and gone on the sleepover

Thanks everyone. I know it’s stupid but he actually makes me think I’m out of order. He tells me he has every right to do what he’s doing because I finished it. I’m not allowed because if I want to see anyone I should be seeing him! He convinced me that he’s right, like I made my bed and I should lay in it. I know he’s a controlling asshole, I told him so last night, but still I doubt myself so it’s good to get some clarity from you guys xx

Cmon op. Take a step back. You ended it so he’s allowed to tell you what you can do? And that if you want to see someone it should be him?

Ended it means it’s over. You don’t need to give him photos. It’s over. You can see anyone you wish. You can stay out if you wish and not tell him where, as long as any kids are sorted.

Stop playing this game with him, tell him it’s over, and that when a relationship ends, that means it’s over, he has no further control,.