Hi everyone!
I'm hoping that from posting this I'll be able to gain a little advice for an ongoing situation that I have. Huge apologies for the long read.
Earlier this year, myself and my amazing wife moved in with my in laws. They invited us to stay with them whilst we get the deposit ready for a house (we've very nearly reached this deposit and are due to be moving out in Jan/Feb). My in laws are absolutely lovely and although there have been some small rough patches this year (being stressed about not having our own space etc) we are extremely grateful to them having offered us a place to stay with rent that isn't stupidly high.
Apart from these small rough patches there has been one massive issue for us this year that comes in the form of my sister in law and my niece. I feel awful for saying this but my sister in law is a very genuinely nasty and spiteful person and her daughter is picking up on her mums behaviour and turning out to be exactly the same.
When I first came into my wifes family, I was quick to learn that it was her sister that ruled over everyone's lives. She's in her mid 30s' but acts like a teenager. She has to be spoon fed everything. Between myself, my wife and my mother in law we do absolutely everything for her. She claims not to be able to cook, my mother in law does her cleaning, washing, ironing, picking her daughter up from school and any general house work, every week without fail she will take her to the shops and pay for her shopping and my sister in law is incredibly ungrateful. I have never once heard her say thank you, it's always what you haven't done for her rather than what you have.
Recently my wife got into an argument with her and we decided that enough was enough, we're not going to bother with her anymore. The argument was due to us buying our niece 2 t shirts that my sister in law had asked us to get her, she didn't give us any money for them, said she hated them and to "get rid of them" as it was too late to return them we sold them online. My sister in law saw the post of us selling them online and blew up. She said some truly awful things to my wife both about herself and our relationship and then she called and messaged my mother in law saying just as nasty things to her which left her crying in her bedroom for an hour.
My wife and I decided that we don't want to be around the house this Christmas and that we have very minimal time alone so as an escape we'd book a hotel from Christmas Eve until Boxing Day. We thought this way we could have a nice relaxed Christmas and my sister in law and niece could be at my mother in laws house without any of us having to see each other. The issue is now that my mother in law is saying she wants us all to be together (she's honestly lovely but she's a typical peace keeper who forgives my sister in law a bit too quickly). My sister in law is now saying that she doesn't want to be around and that she will go to her ex boyfriends house with our niece and they will spend Christmas there but she is extremely well known for changing her mind last minute. The issue we are left with is that we don't want to cancel the hotel and then have my sister in law decide last minute that she's coming for Christmas because there will be fights and arguments and it will spoil the day for us all. However, we also don't want to go to the hotel and then my sister in law genuinely doesn't turn up at my mother in laws and she has to spend Christmas alone.
What would you all do? Would you stick to your guns and go to the hotel regardless or spend it at your mother in laws?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!