First night staying over and so nervous

[FarTooOldforTikTok]

I started chatting with a man about August time and I like him. He's nice and he makes me feel comfortable.

Obviously this year has been roundly shit so we've only managed a few dates. He's asked me round for dinner this coming weekend because then 'we can have more time together'.

Does that mean he wants to have sex? I'm 28 and I'm fed up of my lack of experience (sum total= none), but we've never spoken about previous relationships or sex. I assume that it shines out of me like a beacon tbh, given my general awkwardness.

Ok - I had to respond because I’ve been in your situation & I regretted it dearly. In my case, yes he ‘expected’ sex & because he expected it, I gave it. It was horrible. Please take my advice: forget what he wants & think about what you want. Don’t do it because you feel pressured. Please.

I agree with @Separatedandabitsad

It doesn't mean you shouldn't stay over but if you're not ready to have sex with him you must have that conversation beforehand and make it absolutely clear.

I think I want to, though.

Oh ok

• I misinterpreted your question & just re-read. So your actual question:

He's asked me round for dinner this coming weekend because then 'we can have more time together

Does that mean he wants to have sex?

I’m
Sure it does but you know him better. What do you think?

I don't know

Most decent people wouldn't be put off by inexperience so try not to let that ruin things for you.

Make it quite clear that you won't be staying over. In fact decline the invitation altogether if you think there are going to be expectations you don't want.

I wouldn’t necessarily expect sex at all. Do you actually want to? I’d go round and decide while you’re there. Defo don’t let him pressure you if you don’t want to

It will most likely become clear if he wants sex as the evening progresses, there'll be lots of kisses and touching first, he's not going to just jump on as you walk in to his house (hopefully not anyway). If it's what you want, be confident and give him signs thats what you want, or tell him straight 🙂

Only do it if you are comfortable and want to do it. I tried to get rid of my virginity like it was something to be ashamed of and ended up getting an std. please value yourself (better than I did) you don't owe him sex if he wants it and you can be upfront and say you will stay over but not have sex. It's ok to take things slowly I mean.

If ready for sex then need to be old enough to talk about it with him before anything happens especially about going slow and making sure you are fully comfortable. I would say even if you are ready for sex, doesnt have to be the first time you hang out together alone at his house. Can get hot and heavy without actual sex. Getting comfortable with each other and your bodies means that when sex does happen, it will go better. You need to be able to communicate so that so are both on the sqme page and everything that happens is clear. At any time either of you are allowed to change your mind and not be ready/want to slow it down. Talk. Any decent sort won't have an issue with virginity and going as slow/fast as you feel comfortable with.

Something else to consider, after the first time I had sex - i still felt like a virgin. Meaning for me absolutely nothing changed, no bolt of lightning declaring "you are woman now!!". More a rather confused, is that it?!

Take protection with you no matter what you decide and what you decide, never presume he is safe and that he will be prepared. Pregnancy can happen the 1st time too.

What you decide or what you do*

Aw OP, I think you should just go with the flow and see what happens. If he makes you feel comfortable, that's half the battle. If you want to have sex with him, go for it, but not just for the aim of losing your virginity. Mine was extremely underwhelming, probably because I was expecting fireworks having waited so long (I was 23) But if you're really into this man, and he's into you, it should be great eventually, after a bit of practice ;) Good luck and let us know how it goes!

I absolutely dont agree with going with the flow under the circumstances.

Some of these responses are very strange...

Yes OP, most people inviting someone they have been dating over would imagine/hope that it might lead to sex, but they would not expect it or be annoyed if it didn’t happen. Just see how you feel as the evening progresses. You don’t need to be nervous. There is no magic trick to sex that the rest of the world knows and you don’t; experience does not necessarily count for much if anything. Don’t worry! You’ll be fine.

I think you need to talk to him about it

If his worth it he will understand

If you want to have sex with him and it feels right at the time then I don't see any reason why you shouldn't do it. Just relax and don't think about it. He won't he judging you he will be enjoying you so don't let nerves get in the way.