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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Lovely little things your partner does

78 replies

Littlehiccups33 · 06/12/2020 16:34

Mine fills up my hot water bottle for me and constantly gives me back rubs when I’m in pain.eg last night at 3 in the morning I woke up in pain he rubbed my back until I fell asleep. He also knows I’m a weakling and always carry’s the shopping upstairs for me. Yesterday the the car was full and I was having a pain attack almost being sick in the car he took me inside let me lay down while he took all the bags in the ran me a bath. I don’t no what I would do with out him.

OP posts:
ImaSababa · 07/12/2020 09:38

He has committed to memory my complex preferences for cups and mugs! He knows that I like the big white mug for my first tea of the day, and smaller mugs thereafter. He knows that I like my Chinese tea in the brown mug and my lactation tea in the one with the zebra on it.

Whyistheteacold · 07/12/2020 09:49

@ImaSababa 🥺 that's lovely 💖

RandomMess · 07/12/2020 10:29

I think it's a bit sad that some of these posts about partners doing housework/cooking. My DH does loads but it's just his share....

LastDayOfMay · 07/12/2020 14:43

I think it's a bit sad that some of these posts about partners doing housework/cooking. My DH does loads but it's just his share....

Thanks for the contribution.

Aren’t 99.99% of the other threads on MN for people with your outlook?

vanillandhoney · 07/12/2020 14:48

@RandomMess

I think it's a bit sad that some of these posts about partners doing housework/cooking. My DH does loads but it's just his share....
There's always one Hmm.
2bazookas · 08/12/2020 13:57

@GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou

He reads to me.

I love reading but I'm sometimes too unwell to focus/make out on the words.

He also does all the voices. :o

How I would love that!
MonaLisaPiles · 08/12/2020 14:35

@vanillandhoney

What do you mean there’s always one?
Why should a man be lauded and cherished for doing something millions of women are subjugated by because many men don’t see it as their job?

I would expect any partner of mine to do his share of housework and it would not make me love him anymore for doing this.

No wonder women have it so hard

StickTheKettleOnAlice · 08/12/2020 15:29

'I would expect any partner of mine to do his share of housework and it would not make me love him anymore for doing this.'

Massages and cups ot teas in bed and going alittle more above and beyond etc, its not just bog standard house work posters are stating. I think it's refreshing to have a positive thread showing appreciation rather than complaints don't you? @MonaLisaPiles

vanillandhoney · 08/12/2020 15:56

[quote MonaLisaPiles]@vanillandhoney

What do you mean there’s always one?
Why should a man be lauded and cherished for doing something millions of women are subjugated by because many men don’t see it as their job?

I would expect any partner of mine to do his share of housework and it would not make me love him anymore for doing this.

No wonder women have it so hard[/quote]
Because the PP has no idea how people run their homes, so coming on and saying "Well, my DH does all that anyway" has no meaning here.

For example, in our home, DH works full-time and I can only work part-time for various reasons. As we have no children, part of our set-up is that I do the housework as I have much more free time. So, when DH gets up and does that housework to give me a lie-in, I'm extremely grateful for that. Should I not be?

Personally, I think it's nice to have a nice positive thread and I don't understand why there always has a bunch of criticisms of "well, my DH is perfect anyway so he doesn't need praising". Hmm

MonaLisaPiles · 08/12/2020 16:02

@StickTheKettleOnAlice

'I would expect any partner of mine to do his share of housework and it would not make me love him anymore for doing this.'

Massages and cups ot teas in bed and going alittle more above and beyond etc, its not just bog standard house work posters are stating. I think it's refreshing to have a positive thread showing appreciation rather than complaints don't you? @MonaLisaPiles

Massages and cups of tea in bed aren’t housework. They are signs of affection and not the same as sticking the dish washer on, cleaning the loo, ironing, recycling, taking turns to cook dinner etc all do which are necessary and basic adult functions whether in a relationship or not

But yes it’s lovely to have a partner that makes a fuss and cares for you I guess. It’s just that I don’t consider necessary activities and sharing their load to be special just what should be done anyway whether you’re devoted and loving or not

My comment was in

UnicornAndSparkles · 08/12/2020 16:09

Since becoming pregnant DH has let me have a lay in on every non-working day, getting up with our 3yo and looking after her for as long as I'm asleep. Taking sole care of the litter box. Bringing me tea and toast in bed. Generally being lovely and putting up with my pregnancy pain woes.

HotPatootiebootie · 08/12/2020 16:15

My husband writes me songs and plays them for me on the guitar. Writes poetry in cards. Maintains the hot tub so I can use it whenever I want. Runs my feet when ever I wave a fit in his general direction. Rocks me to sleep in a bear hug when I've woken up with ptsd nightmares from when I was abused as a kid. He never ever quibbles over money if I say we need something or the kids do. We always come first. Here's a pretty awesome bloke and I'm incredibly lucky.

user1471538283 · 08/12/2020 16:16

My ex had many faults but he was good at the small things. Running me a bath when I was tired, getting up with me if I had a migraine in the middle of the night, buying me a flake on his way home, letting me have the nicest looking cake, giving me money for lunch with a friend so he could watch football. But he was violent. I often wonder how it happened because his dad was the kindest most gentle of men

dazzlinghaze · 08/12/2020 17:11

My boyfriend does so many lovely, kind things for me, it's a breath of fresh air after the loveless relationship I spent years in. He always gets me a treat he knows I'll like when he goes to the shop, whenever we're cuddling on the couch he massages my shoulders, when I'm at his house he doesn't let me lift a finger and he always offers to take me to get my shopping because I don't drive.

StickTheKettleOnAlice · 08/12/2020 18:42

'Massages and cups of tea in bed aren’t housework.
They are signs of affection and not the same as sticking the dish washer on, cleaning the loo, ironing, recycling, taking turns to cook dinner etc'

@MonaLisaPiles but this thread is called lovely things your partner does isn't it though? Some posters do mention housework only yes but each to their own and that obviously means something to them. I didnt say anything about your comment but guess the poster that does just wants to keep the thread positive.

Littlesparrow0 · 09/12/2020 22:26

Can I just say this is the loveliest thread @Littlehiccups33
But also have to admit its made me shed some tears and upset me as I hand on heart do not have any of these things done for me and im with my partner 17 yrs now with 2 toddlers.
I think its so lovely and very refreshing to hear that there are some fantastic partners in this world. Mine is quite controlling which ill not go into as this is a positive uplifting thread but I just want to say how incredibly lucky all you lovely ladies are to have fantastic men. I do absolutely everything and still do the whole nights when my dd wakes even at weekends and he has a lie on every single weekend. I know theres good guys out there as my dad is very much one of these men.
I think I'd drop if someone brought me tea in bed or rubbed my back until I fell asleep. When I go to bed I'm expected to give some sort of pleasure to my fella if I don't I get the cold shoulder and told I dont show him I love him because I don't fancy sex or want to give him a release. Im expected to have dinner, tea etc cooked and do the cleaning and sort the kids out etc
So reading all these comments makes me realise how desperately unhappy I am and with someone who does absolutely nothing for me other than giving me tears and misery every day.

FastnetLundyRockall · 09/12/2020 22:40

Brings me a cup of tea at 8.07 precisely as this is my preferred time. Cuts up my fruit but remembers not to put it in the fridge as I don't like chilly fruit. Deals with all spider evictions even though he doesn't much like them himself, he knows i can't cope with them. Makes me hot water bottles without asking as I get chilly. Makes me laugh when I am stressed!

LiJo2015 · 09/12/2020 22:47

Wakes me up with a fresh posh coffee every morning 🥰

Carpetmoffman · 09/12/2020 22:50

I bought a fancy salt scrub for the shower the other day and was trying to open it during a shower but couldn’t get it to the damn thing. Later that night I went into the loo and he’d noticed I’d clearly been trying to get into it so opened it and put it back on the shelf for me. Might be time of the month but I think that’s so thoughtful. Made me cry Grin

BiblioX · 10/12/2020 06:18

Mine makes me lots of cuppas, runs me baths, makes me hot water bottles, stops what he is doing immediately if he can tell I need a cuddle. He always walks the dog. He never has a lie-in as I deal with the kids at night, so he immediately and happily gets up by 7.30am. When I come home with the shopping he comes and fetches it all from the car, and puts it all away - he has a cup of tea waiting for me as he knows covid-shopping stresses me. He is my kind, gentle and loving rock. Oh, and he never complains about doing his fair share of housework as it’s his home too.

JorisBonson · 10/12/2020 07:33

He's just a general all round good guy and not a cunt.

I'll take that.

Lovelydiscusfish · 10/12/2020 07:57

My boyfriend is a gem. Often buys me gifts - just little cheap things he sees and thinks I would like. When he is here (he works away loads, incredibly long brutal hours), he cooks, cleans the house, does the laundry, fixes stuff for me. He says lovely things, and reassures me all the time. He texts lovely things. He will watch the snooker with me all night (my favourite) and pretend he is interested although his mum said he doesn’t actually like it that much! And he will get up ludicrously early to drive all the way to his work, just so we can spend one more night together. And I LOVE HIM!

UnwantedOpinionBelow · 12/12/2020 03:20

My DH will go to the supermarket to buy me tampons or to get us drinks and snacks. He also drives me around everywhere as I can't drive just yet (learning)! He notices when I get dressed up or even when I am without makeup and compliments me - in general he is a very selfless being and in general just a really loving man and I do appreciate him dearly.

lovelemoncurd · 12/12/2020 03:35

23 years later and hubby still is as kind as the day I met him but if he cracks the joke that he hasn't managed to get me anything for Xmas and then produces his presents one more year....

litterbird · 12/12/2020 15:34

@JorisBonson

He's just a general all round good guy and not a cunt.

I'll take that.

This, this and this!!! Brilliant JorisBonson.....mine is just the same...thank you for making me laugh out loud.