I am fed up of repeating myself

[CanAnyoneHearMe3]

There is not really a point to this post, its more of a reassurance I'm not the only person who feels like this.

I spend my whole life repeating myself and feel like nobody actually listens to anything i say.

My parent's, my dh & my dc its just consant.

I talk to my dm i can see her glaze over as i speak or she takes over the conversation and talks about something else.
Dh is so wrapped up in work its all that consumes his thoughts. If he gets a work text mid conversation he replys etc. He remembers nothing-i spoon feed him all information and he still forgets.
The dc- the oldest has learning needs so is forgetful (i dont mind her forgetting of course- plus its more frustrating for her than me)
The other 2 toddler dc a little so do need lots of reminders.
To clarify i dont mind the dc as they are all learning.
But it is so exhausting repeating ti grown adults.
I am usually told no you never told us/ thats not what you said.
I know 100% i told them but I have anxiety and depression, so i then start doubting myself and get confused, start to panic and try find "evidence" i told them for my own sanity.
I just wish someone would care enough to listen.
Sorry for the rant/ long post

I think when ppl dobt listen, we lose faith in ourselves it comes accross in the way we talk. Like a self fulfilling prophesy.

In future could you maybe try certain techniques to build your confidence and grab their attention at the same time? Fake it until you make it.

For example:

• Speak in definitives. Clear and confidently and with no 'umms' or 'maybes'.
• Give clear, fixed time frames for them to do the tasks within.
• If it's something you need them to pay particular attention to, you could go over and place a hand on their shoulder or take their hand. Touch tends to snap peoples attention towards you.
• If they dont do what you asked, makes sure you get their full attention when bringing it up with them. Eg: turn the tv off.

Appologies, bad spelling.

But the more you practice appearing confident, the easier you should find it. And people tend to listen more to people who believe in themselves and what they are saying.

OP do you speak in a clear, direct way?

I have trouble listening to my mum because she’s a “why use two words when you can use twenty” person.

Hmm. I hate to ask, but when you find them not listening what kind of thing are you talking about?

I love my mum, but my god she talks some absolute drivel. She can easily monologue on about the neighbours cousins dog, or what Sheila from the post office said about the butcher (neither of whom I know), and other village gossip that is of no interest to anyone.

So I admit I don't tend to always listen, I zone in and out and make the appropriate noises.

Thank you both for the replys.
(I dont know how to tag people sorry)
I think it could probably a mixture of both your responces.
I feel so unheard i dont start as confident as i usually feel. It just feels pointless to speak as i will repeat it a billion times before i give up.
I am direct and short with the dc when i ask/ give instructions.
With dh if i talk to him like i do the dc he gets the jist of what i am saying but if i chat to him like a normal conversation he gets bored.
My dp are quiet lonely sinces lockdown so monologue at me and remembers nothing i say.

“ My dp are quiet lonely sinces lockdown so monologue at me and remembers nothing”

I think this is a separate issue which a lot of us have.

Are they all forgetting important things?

What kind of conversation does your DP find boring?

Was he like this before lockdown? I’m quite worried I’ll hear a “splat” and see my brain on the floor, it’s affected me that badly.

I am actaully quite a quiet person. I only speak of i have something to say i enjoy silence if im honest.
Example the other day i was talking to Dm i was talking about a school/health related thing about oldest and she got distracted by something on a tv advert. I had said abput 3 sentances if i was lucky.
Dh is just not interested in anything i say other than his work. He smile nods and forgets straight away. Kids hospital stuff/ school details/ childcare. He remebers nothing.

My dh has always been like that.
Dm has changed since lockdown

Ha, probably nothing to do with your way. Atleast not if you are doing things the way I was . Dh does not/cannot listen! It's actually getting worse over time (hearing not the best), he asks a question and visibly drifts off while getting the answer, asks the same thing hours or a day later and same thing drifting off, it is destroying 🤪.

He is a very educated man absorbed in a high profile stressful job so he's not just daft, but he has always had the luxury of me being his practical back-up. Well not anymore, if he asks twice I'll remind him he has got the answer, if he forgets things, it's his problem.

A psychologist told me to say/suggest things once, if people don't react or listen that's their choise and not my problem.

It takes a lot of practice and does not always seem nice, but forces people to take responsibility.

Re. Your parents, if they change the subject or drift off stop the conversation or if you are brave say 'i can see you are not interested' and change the subject.

Best of luck, you do get very tired by bring on repeat .

You could shake up your parents by belting out the chorus of this

Joking aside, I’d say to them, I feel you’re not paying attention so I’ll go now.

Also with your DH, I’d have a serious conversation and tell him he needs to know the stuff about his children.