Who's at fault

[Safffyyy]

So my husband in another country working there is a 5 hours diffrance. He was trying to call me for the last 2 days I've been a bit unwell and to be honest the kids got my phone watching YouTube. We did text good night and morning. When I did call him he was upset that I never answered the phone or called back. He says he felt embarrassed as he was with a friend both times and trying to call me from the market to ask what I wanted from there but I never picked up. I did say well I didn't know i can't tell the future and the kids got my phone. I told him he's overreacting and he should not feel embarrassed in front of his friend. We've fallen out over this. Who's in the right?

Well how would you like it if you felt ignored by your partner and then instead of just apologising, they told you you were overreacting?

You're in the wrong. No way around it.
Tbf he could have texted to ask you the first nights after he hadn't reached you that day. But soorvop, if I had a missed call from my partner who is in another country, I would have called them straight back.

*but sorry op

Did you see the missed call?

It does seem rather mean to not answer or call him back for two days. I'd be hurt if my DP did that. You must have had 10 minutes free at some point that you could have called him in. It sounds like you just didn't want to speak to him.

I wouldn't put the blame on either of you as you were both partly in the wrong. Unless you are permanently attached to your phone, it's not reasonable to be expected to answer the phone as & when. That said, it is reasonable to expect an acknowledgement (even a quick text) as soon as the missed call has been seen.

I'd be hurt as well, op.

Bit shitty OP. I have a small child and unwell pregnant with number 2. I get that you couldn’t really be arsed, which is the short version of your explanation, but it is crap behaviour on your part. Then to tell him he’s over reacting feels a bit ‘gas lighty’ to me. He’s not over reacting you ignored him for 2 days!

I would maybe guess you’re not chuffed he’s away and you’re stuck with DC as that behaviour feels pretty passive aggressive.

You're in the wrong OP, and if DP did this I would be angry.

Have you apologised? I don't think this needs to be made into a massive deal so if you've said sorry and he's sulking about it then that's slightly different. If you've not apologised and he's been left with the feeling you don't care and think it doesn't matter, then obviously you're out of line.

2 days when your in another country and have 2 kids seems a long time to have not contact to me

Unfortunately I have to agreed with your husband . 1st time on here I have probably agrees with a man 😂. I would be really upset too

Yabu op feel sorry for your husband you need to apologise 2 days is a long time you obviously don't want to talk to him at all

Yes but I'm suffering from post covid and been sleeping a lot. I know I should of called back put just slipped my mind.

Yeah I could of sent a text but he knows the kids have my phone and I'm unwell with post covid symptom. Thanks :)

Thanks for your advice. Think I might be in the wrong.

If you text him back in those two days it’s not so bad, didn’t he ask why you hadn’t called back when he text?

How many times did he call, how often do you usually talk when he’s away? Like, if he called once, you missed it but then text then it’s not the same as him calling 3 times a day and you not replying

@Safffyyy

Yeah I could of sent a text but he knows the kids have my phone and I'm unwell with post covid symptom. Thanks :)

You said you did text good morning & night though? If so it’s not you had no contact

Why didn't your kids pick up the call?