Tip of the iceberg ?

[Snapchatnovice]

Hi, I posted the other day about seeing the first line of a note in DHs iPhone ‘notes’ app which said Snapchat and a username. He is a middle aged man who does not have this app on his phone.
Long story short, had a bad gut feeling so I snooped everywhere. I have found out there is definitely an account linked to a fake email address I got from his laptop.
I can’t sleep so had a look through our purchased apps and saw kik installed 4 years ago. I just tried the fake email address in kik and there is an account!!!
I have no idea what Kik is apart from things I have read on mumsnet saying it’s never good.
I can’t believe this and and am shaking while he is sleeping peacefully next to me.

Just ask him, OP.
If you've snooped everywhere then you'd be wasting your time trying to discover things out for yourself.

Yeah, he's bound to tell you the truth. Whoever heard of someone lying when confronted with questions about dodgy activity? I don't know if this is dodgy, it's not stuff I understand, but I do know asking him is unlikely to be the best way forward.

Sounds very much like the tip of the iceberg

Well he’s obviously either cheating or trying to. What’s your relationship like otherwise?

@CharlotteCollinsneeLucas

Yeah, he's bound to tell you the truth. Whoever heard of someone lying when confronted with questions about dodgy activity? I don't know if this is dodgy, it's not stuff I understand, but I do know asking him is unlikely to be the best way forward.

Yes I agree that he's unlikely to tell the truth - it all depends on how accomplished a liar he is. If he's not very accomplished at least you will know that he is lying. OP, you can spend hours and hours examining his phone and other devices, especially if you can back up his phone and use forensic techniques. But do you really want to waste your time doing this?

Op, kik is the messaging app a lot of people on dating apps like to use as it is not linked to your email or phone number.

There can't be an innocent reason for having it for 4 years I'm sure.

Snapchat can be used totally innocently, but the two hand in hand..

I'm so sorry, but I don't think you need any further proof really.

It sounds as though he's been living a double life for some time OP. Take your time and let your extreme feelings settle a bit.

Gather evidence (and take pics) and see if you or a Mumsnetter can find him on Fabswingers or suchlike as you'll gain insight into the extent of this. Kik is for anonymous messaging so not a good sign.

Thanks for the replies.
I logged out of mumsnet and couldn’t get back in.
I have no idea what I am dealing with but it looks really bad. I got the chance to go right through his phone as he got drunk and went into a coma.
Couldn’t find anything on the phone itself but when I looked at the cookies (which I don’t think he knows about as there were pages and pages) I found all sorts of sites.
I tried the password with all of the social media ones in there and they have accounts. One cookie said vk.com, I’ve never heard of it so Googled it and it is some sort of Russian Facebook. He has an account there too. What the hell would he be doing on there? Has anyone heard of it?
I am absolutely not going to say anything to him yet. It’s our sons birthday next week, and then Christmas. Plus I want to know the facts.
Like a pp said, it’s looking like a secret life

Well done OP. No need to rush - best to gather all the facts so there's no denials. It must be difficult. Poor you.

The fact he’s stored log in details on notes is worrying, unless of course he’s done that for your children? Can you access the amount with the log in details to check?

Russian Facebook could be him trying to hook up with Russian girls?

Vk.com is the number 1 Social media site in Russia, age demographic is under 35's. It is also the hub for many Russian dating/hook up sites.

Thanks again for the replies. I suspect the note, which I saw the first line of, contained all of the usernames etc for these sites. He must have seen it when he bought up the app so assumed I may have too. He deleted it the same day so I have no way of getting passwords.
I’m just going to watch and wait for the moment. I’ve watched my friend go through some horrendous gaslighting at the hands of her husband (turned out to be hook up sites). So I know not to show my hand until I have either found out what’s going on, or decided I’ll never know and tell him to tell me the truth or leave. And mean it.
One thing keeps playing over in my head. He has a habit of leaving the shower extractor fan on (the drone is really annoying), a couple of months ago he left it on and came downstairs. I was only joking about but gave him a death stare and said in my sternest voice ‘I want a word with you’.
His face just dropped and froze. I’ve never seen that expression on him before. Now I know why, he must have been terrified. Wanker.

I would get an sti test op... Peace of mind at least physically anyway...