Just want to vent really...I know I'm not in a healthy relationship because he's got serious mental health problems and I'm not his carer or nurse and I react emotionally instead of thinking oh he's having one of those episodes, best just leave him to it.
I do know this about him and for now I'm choosing to stay in the relationship. We do love each other very much. He's constantly battling this part of himself that isn't well.
He gets irrationally angry out of nowhere. He started a really horrible argument out of nothing tonight, right as we were about to go to sleep. He made himself so angry at me that he told me to fuck off and leave him alone...hang on, this is my bed, in my room, in my house, where you have come as a guest? (He's in my bubble). He is very scary when he gets angry like that, he's someone different altogether, he can say awful things to me that he would never normally say.
He's not violent, never has been, but it's very distressing being around someone this angry so I left the room and he was mocking me as I went. I've come downstairs and had a good cry and he's upstairs in my bed.
I know I know I know, I should be telling him to fuck off out of my bed and out of my house but it's past 1 in the morning, my adult daughter is also in the house and I don't want to exacerbate the situation so that he's yelling the whole place down. It's best to just leave him to it for now.
In the morning or at some point tomorrow he will become himself again and be incredibly sorry, until then I am the enemy and In The Wrong.
Sorry for all that...was feeling a bit lost and upset and needed to get it off my chest.
I know I'm an idiot already.