Is it just me or is this the general theme of online dating? Any advice very very welcome!!

[Ehwhatsthat]

I’ve been online dating on a few apps, one paid for site. I’m 35 for context.

So far I’ve had:

1. Men who message me to tell me quite breezily that they are planning on going to Australia or Middle East next year for work cheers for reading my profile that makes clear I want a relationship and I’m happily settled in the UK.

1. Men who are just out of a relationship. The best one here was someone who had broken up with someone on the Tuesday and we had met on the Thursday total waste of time.

1. Men who are aggressive and defensive in their profile: ‘swipe left if you can’t deal with my son’ or ‘swipe left if you’re uptight and can’t take a joke.’ FUCK OFF.

1. Men who say they are looking for any of the following: someone who can take a joke (ie someone I can abuse), someone who is independent (ie don’t expect me to support you if it impacts my life), someone who wants to get pissed together (ie just want easy shags), someone who takes care of their appearance (literally wtf? Arrogant dick).

1. Men who think you are after them for money or men who think you’ll pay for everything as you have a good job.

1. Men who mock other women online as a way to compare you favourably. So gross.

1. Men who tell you you’re too uptight. Yes thanks, sorry I didn’t want to meet you at 10pm in a lockdown on a random road.

I’m so so so so fucking fed up and I’ve been doing it 3 weeks! Anyone else have the same problems?

A good way to look at it is these idiots are helpfully weeding themselves out! I found OLD truly awful and had some excruciating dates on there. There ARE nice guys on there - IMO they're the ones that ask thoughtful questions, don't jump straight to sex talk and....just seem to have a level head on them. Possibly not helpful sorry!

@GnomeOrMistAndIceGuy I’m finding it so depressing! I don’t know what to make of it really, even the paid ones are full of shit.

I had one who liked to wear women's underwear (each to their own)
But then straight after sent me a pic of his willy in a thong covered in sperm 🤢

Then another man who told me he wanks off atleast 10 times a day! 🥴

Fucking hell ColdNovemberNights he sounds a delight - I take it you followed up with a date

The man who wore thongs actually seemed nice before that 🧐

On the plus side, i found a nice one, his currently sitting next to me, after being together 4 years and were engaged 😊

So there are some good eggs on there

To be fair, I’m someone who might list “someone independent” myself - it’s not that I wouldn’t look after them if they got I’ll, for example, rather I just prefer someone who has their own life, and who isn’t reliant on me to prop up their self-esteem, more attractive. I like the idea of being with someone who doesn’t need to be with me, but chooses to be so. Who is creative and capable in their own right.

I met my OH as a friend of friends but before that he had tried online dating - so there are some good ones on there. I do think you need to be tough and thick-skinned though, as it's a numbers game.

*ill not I’ll!

Yeah I've decided it's a waste of time. I tend to meet men who want pen pals

I can imagine during lockdown , men are even more bored

I'm around your age and been doing OLD on and off for 3 years and your experience is completely typical I'm afraid 😅😭

No advice, just my complete sympathy!

Men who are aggressive and defensive in their profile: ‘swipe left if you can’t deal with my son’ or ‘swipe left if you’re uptight and can’t take a joke.’ FUCK OFF.

Oh god I remember these well!

"If u wnt me to put a woman befor my kids then u aint 4 me sorry they my life and u need to no that day 1 no lies. No I wont buy you bags on r date I got bills and no gold diggas"

Lots of these. With that as their description. So, so aggressive and awkward. Good way to filter out the wrongens though.

One asked me what I did, I said I work for myself and they said 'arrogant bitch' 😂😂😂 LOVELY