Post separation relief - when does it wear off?

[Grittlelayrabbit]

Or maybe it doesn’t?!

My marriage ended and we had to live together for a while until he was finally removed by the police, and since then it’s been just me and the kids. It’s only been a couple of months but omg it’s bliss. Pure pure bliss. I can breathe out properly and relax, and make my own choices, and have things as I want them! He was a horrible emotionally and financially abusive arse, massively controlling and didn’t disguise his contempt for me and enjoyed tormenting me. All that has stopped dead and I am spending my days happily rearranging and sprucing things up. The children are so much happier and calmer, even though they miss him.

I don’t particularly want to go anywhere and am so contented to stay home and relax. I know this is mostly a reaction to how crap things were, but will it end? Will the novelty of contentment wear off?

I’m in my 40s and I have no particular wish to meet another partner, it all seems far too much like hard work. I thought I might get a rescue dog and focus on the kids and the garden.

When do I wake up from this?

Nearly 2 years on for me and I still feel the blissful relief! I don't think it ever goes away. I feel relief in the daily little things. We can have that for dinner even though he'd have hated it and complained. We can do this and enjoy it even though he'd have been a grumpy arse and spoiled it.

It's pure bliss. Congratulations and enjoy!! 🥂

2 years on for me since split, and 7 months since house was sold and torturous cohabitation ended. Still feeling absolute joy! Luxuriate away.

Just enjoy it! You don't have to have plans. Live in the moment and be happy! You might meet some one interesting, you might not, but just be content and enjoy what you have xx

I split from my abusive ex nearly 20 yrs ago and I still breath a sigh of relief when I think about it

I was like this when I left after a 20 year marriage, it's been over 4 years now and I still feel like it. Keep enjoying your new independent life!

Not me but my Mum. That feeling stayed with her for the rest of her life!

Wow that’s amazing! I am SO chilled. It’s that feeling you get when you know you have to go out to a function you don’t fancy, and is loads of effort and prep, and you know will be shit, and then it’s cancelled and you can stay home with me ironed pyjamas and clean sheets and a hot deep bath. Over and over again.

Five years on, when I remember, it still makes me happy to be free.

It’s been a year for me and I’m still relieved
It’s not been all plain sailing
But way calmer
And a dispute and drama free Xmas
Hopefully

5 years here. I don’t think it ever goes away. When you’ve gone through such hard times you never take for granted your peaceful happy life

This is your new life now OP. Enjoy

Nearly 3 years for me. Still have the feeling of relief, freedom and happiness

8 years for me and I still smile going up to bed with my book. 😁

I'm about 23 years divorced and I spent the whole of the first lockdown repeatedly thinking, OMG I'm SOOOOO grateful I'm not in lockdown with ExH.

I've been re-married for 20 years and DH was a joy to be with. We repeatedly told ourselves how lucky we were compared to other people. It made it bearable.

15 years and still going strong!

Honestly there will be times when you miss him - IME, when your kids are in trouble and you miss having someone to be on your team, present a united front, sanity check your decisions etc.

But then you remember you never got that support when you were together anyway - and being single means you're free to ask for help and advice from your family, friends, school, doctor, etc., without feeling disloyal.

Enjoy every moment of your Christmas OP. You've earned it 🎄