Single forever!

[Givemeabreak88]

I have been single for 4 years, everyone seems to meet someone so quickly, I have a friend who is in a new relationship and her child is only 2 months old (my youngest is almost 4 years) I just feel like there is something wrong with me! How do people find someone so quickly? Like how do you feel ready to move on so fast, I feel like I will be alone forever

Ha no help from me- I have had a couple of things that I thought were relationships but the men informed me weren't lasting a few months each and otherwise have been single for a decade. Also am constantly amazed and mildly envious of women who manage to find men all over the place but now fairly happily resigned to my fate

I think your friend must be in the minority though, good for her but it must be hard having pre school children and dating let alone a baby, perhaps your friend got with someone she had already known a while?
Don't compare though, you will start to look again when you're ready and have more time to.

Nope didn’t already know him, I dont think it’s the minority from what I see, everyone seems to jump into relationships so quickly! I don’t know how they manage it. I feel so ancient, like my life is over.

I’m on a single parents group and there seems to be a lot of women who meet men and are living with them and their kids within 6 months (not that I would that) but it’s seems pretty common! Just don’t know how they do it.

I spilt with my father before she was born, and she is nearly 9. I had a brief thing with a chap a few years back, but that's it!!! My vagina aches for attention some days, most days I am happy enough 🤪

Oops father's daughter

That’s one of the things I miss tbh! I’m 32 so haven’t had sex since I was 28 I couldn’t do a fwb thing though but online dating etc scares the hell out of me

Your friend sounds desperate and I wouldn't have too much faith in the future of that relationship.
And if you are alone forever - so what? There's many would happily swap with you.

I used to think exactly the same as you @Givemeabreak88 ... I split from my dc's dad when my youngest was 2, tried all the dating site, staying out till stupid o'clock hoping to find someone drunk enough to want me ... I almost gave up then 2 years ago decided to have one last shot at OLD (it was a paid site as I figured if men were only after a one night stand they wouldn't pay to be on a site) I was 34 and felt I had nothing to lose, anyway started talking to someone after 30mins of being on there and we are still together now. He is honestly the most amazing man I have ever met and I am truly thankful for taking that risk of paying to meet someone. Don't give up hope mr right could be just round the corner

Thank you bbd72 nice to hear there is hope!

Just to add, I had a couple of FWB during my single time and even though 2 of them lasted for over 2 years they were awful I fell hard for both of them and they didn't feel the same way. I carried on letting them use me in the hope that one day they realised they did like me in a more committed way (obviously that never happened thank god!!)

There’s a difference between not being ready for a relationship and just not being able to meet someone you like.

I’m in the latter category. But I’d honestly rather be single than get entwined with someone who’s not right for whatever reason. It’s better to be choosy!

I guess I just don’t know why I’m not ready after so long? Is it strange?

@Givemeabreak88 I don't think it's just about being ready. It's also about luck. I split with my DC's Dad in 2013, had a disastrous rebound within 6 months, put me off dating for 2 years or so. Since 2015/16, I have been dating on and off. Had a FWB in that time for over two years and he was lovely! We met on the train and were just at different stages of our lives. But I have nothing but fond memories of him. We only called things off as we both met other people... I met someone in July this year via OLD (And I am the biggest sceptic of OLD, only did it as can't meet anyone else it seems) and unexpectedly fallen in love with my current boyfriend. We are both stupidly in love 5 months on and it's so lovely. But I did not think it was going to happen and he's the opposite of what I would have gone for and I only went on the date as I thought he would be interesting...

Yes I think you are right. I never have the opportunity to meet anyone irl as I’m always with my children and most men are not interested in approaching a woman with 4 kids! not that I would expect that anyway but it just means I don’t get to meet anyone without actively seeking it, so old would be the only option, but I’m so scared of it after all the horror stories I read on here! TwoBoysTooMany76 can I ask what old site did you use?

@Givemeabreak88 You need to have strong boundaries and clear ideas of what you want to do OLD. The most common mistake I see doing OLD (me included!) is not having those and then letting the men dictate the type of relationships they want... Don’t put up with fuckery and sometimes go for someone you might not have gone for... I didn’t think my boyfriend was my type at all. But his first question to me was ‘What are you reading in that picture?’ As I had a pic of me reading in the park in one of my profile pics. That was on Hinge. I also used Bumble and Tinder and I have dated decent men across all the different apps. Most are perfectly nice but just not a good fit with me.