Contact with ex

[AmywithanL]

Hi everyone.

I separated from my partner 3 weeks ago, we have a 3 year old boy together. He was in the army so was only ever back here at weekends so our boy is use to not having him around.

My question is how much do I contact him over our childs day to day activities, do I need to? Should I send him pictures?

My partner as asked about our son a couple of time and ive sent pictures and said hes doing fine...but should I be doing more? Without him asking?

Its the only communication me and my ex are having at the moment, I think he is trying the ‘no contact’ to win me back, but could very well be just glad to get rid of me!!
Im happy to send pictures and tell him about his day but at the same time I just think Dad should be taking more an interest or isnit up to me to keep him informed without him having to ask?? Sorry, I just dont know whats best!

You contact him about things he needs to know as a parent: your DC’s health and well-being; arrangements for contact; nursery arrangements; anything you’ve noticed or the nursery has said about his needs/behaviour/progress which is relevant to how he parents or needs a consistent co-parent approach. That sort of thing. It isn’t your job to provide a running commentary and photos of day to day activities. As things progress and you get more used to him being your child’s parent rather than your partner, it will become more intuitive and will get easier.

It’s not up to you. If he wants regular updates and photos then he needs to ask and you can agree what to share with him. Otherwise it’s just the mechanics - contact days times, illnesses, finance, anything that affects arrangements. That sort of thing. Has he even seen him in the 3 weeks?

I’m separated and my sons dad only sees him every other weekend as he lives 3 hours away. I’d send pics maybe 1-2 times a week but he’d also ask how he was doing regularly.

I’d suggest doing every now and again? If he’s still seeing your son when he’s home I wouldn’t fret too much about it. As long as he’s making the effort there.

My sons 10 now so I have no contact with his dad he has a iPad and mobile which he can talk to his dad on so it makes it so much easier.

Yes our little boy spent the night with his him last weekend. Ex is based 2 hours away but Hes told me hes renting a cheap place close by so I suppose thats where our son will be going on the weekends he goes to his dads. Theres no financial arrangement in place yet, I thought it was abit of a raw situation at the moment so il leave it for a while. Im use to being the sole provider for our son, its how its always been. Thank you for you replies

I usually send photos for memorable events, lost tooth, when she's achieved something. I dont get them back. But Im ok with that.