Are my expectations too high?

[Sadlonely67]

I’m not sure if my expectations are too high when it comes to relationships.

Surely 16 months in, you should know that you love someone, and see a possible future? Surely you should be starting to have those conversations bit by bit? Surely you should be sure about someone?

There should be lots of good sex and plenty of feeling good thanks to the honeymoon phase. Encouragement, support and compliments. Exciting trips, meeting each other’s families etc.

Or am I not being realistic enough?

I don’t know what’s normal anymore

Yep, all that, as you know, so if that's not happening it could well be time to move on

Yes, all of those things should be happening.

But why on earth would you take it to the 16 month point if you can’t communicate, the sex is rubbish, you don’t go anywhere much together and you don’t get any sense of actually being valued? Because hays basically what you’re saying, isn’t it? That’s not stuff that should be happening suddenly at 16 months, it’s the basic foundations of building a relationship which starts from month number one.

Raise your standards. Don’t be so desperate for a man / relationship that you’ll accept any man / relationship just so as not to be single.

ComtesseDeSpair because the relationship started off wonderfully then went downhill gradually

Time to move on - you've given it long enough and it's clear you don't have compatible expectations. Yours sound very reasonable and it's worrying you're unsure if they are or not - I think you may have fallen victim to sunk cost fallacy and stayed too long.

No - your expectations are very reasonable. I was in a similar situation and stayed for far too long (19 months!) hoping he would change, trying to convince him how amazing I am so he want a future with me etc. It broke me.

Don't waste your time. Cut your losses - you are better off on your own than with someone who doesn't value you enough to commit after 16 months

No, your expectations are right. If your relationship isn't matching up, you should call it a day.