When you start online dating and meet someone and have no friends in common how do you know they are telling the truth?

[BlueDaysTillChristmas]

I’ve only ever had partners who were friends of friends so I knew a bit about them already, which was verified by my friends.

Actually, thinking about it I did have one relationship where we had no friends in common but I met him via his workplace so knew that about him, plus it was before the internet so it was different.

@Shouldbeworkingnotreadingtalk

Haven't OLD for quite a while .... but when I did .... if they say they were a self employed plumber / company director I would search companies house for their name / company details. Often there would be a registered address that was their house.... (not always) so then I would check street view, see what the house / flat looked like. Then I'd do a Rightmove search for that area and see if their house had recently been sold / bought / and generally have a little tour inside.... (from my pc obviously, not actually go in the house!) ... you can tell if kids live there, state of the garden / decor (no one wants to live with someone who lives in a rubbish dump - you can tell if they have pride ... if also run their car number plate through the free gov tax & mot checker .... A lot of info could be gained in 8mins of research .... I didn't care about the house / flat / job other than to check what they were saying was true. One guy I caught out totally as he told me he lived "in a large 5 bed townhouse right next door" to a pub we both knew - he even went on to say it was a bit noisy. Quick look on rightmove revealed that very same town house was in fact bedsits / HMO... I still went on the first date with him, but went with my eyes open that he might be a billy bullshyttar, he then turned up in a clapped out old van, saying his brand new Mercedes was in the garage for a fault check. . ... had I not of been on guard re the house situation I'd have believed him as very plausible. . . Lots of chat about how he'd moved down from Chelsea ... yeah, right.... there are too many idiot men out there that just want a shag and will lie to get it. I personally didn't have the time to go on dates with wastes of space! I did find success with a lovely van driving kitchen fitter, who was honest from the outset that he drove a silver man van... I'd much rather that than I liar! Married 3 years now . .

Wow

If I as a bloke did that to a woman I’d rightly be ripped to shreds, called a stalker, a weirdo and women would be advised to run a mile

That’s ott and if I found you’d done all that id be blocking and hiding. Not because I have anything to hide, but because it’s way too much.

@ravenmum Tinder users usually just have their first name (no surname) rather than a username. So if someone is obviously using a fake name I can’t be bothered with them. Yes of course anyone could be using a name that’s not their real name, but to me anyone being evasive from the start is a waste of my time.
I am aware that if someone knows my first name and my job then they could find me online quite easily. But I have private social media etc and rarely post anything. I figure it’s no more high risk than running into a real-life nutter in the course of my daily public-facing work.

(cont. from above) and I don’t tell anyone online my job til I have been chatting to them for a while

@BillMasen

You have your fellow males to blame for women needing to be like that.

I'd feel the same but only because I have a deep mistrust of men from previous experiences. However, the last guy I dated (met online) actually had loads of mutual friends. i asked one of them and was told "he;s the nicest bloke you'll meet". He definitely wasn't!!!

[quote RantyAnty]@BillMasen

You have your fellow males to blame for women needing to be like that.[/quote]
Don’t totally disagree. We are awful but I still think that particular set of actions is too much for me

[quote Lampan]@ravenmum Tinder users usually just have their first name (no surname) rather than a username. So if someone is obviously using a fake name I can’t be bothered with them. Yes of course anyone could be using a name that’s not their real name, but to me anyone being evasive from the start is a waste of my time.
I am aware that if someone knows my first name and my job then they could find me online quite easily. But I have private social media etc and rarely post anything. I figure it’s no more high risk than running into a real-life nutter in the course of my daily public-facing work.[/quote]
OK, just first names is not so bad - and as you say, you could just call yourself anything you liked anyway. Better than the endless "Teddybear123s" you usually get.