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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He just doesn't care

1 reply

FairytaleOfWhat · 01/12/2020 19:27

I feel as if my marriage died a long time ago but we are keeping its carcass in the house with us. My husband would rather speak to his friends online all evening than spend time with me. I can't remember the last time we spent an evening together. We have slept separately for over a year.

And sex is none existent. In the last four years it went from once a week to once a month, to once every three months. And when we did have sex he would have to watch porn in another room first and then went soft after a few minutes and had to stop because he was too tired. According to my health app we have had sex which resulted in him ejaculating FOUR TIMES in the last four years.

In the summer I told him how it's just not fair on me and I'm unhappy. That I can only see divorce as the option here. He said he would go to the doctor and was prescribed viagra. He took it twice and it did help massively. But since August he's said he doesn't want to take them again because it makes him feel 'weird'.

We have another three years in our fixed term mortgage. He doesn't want to sell before that time and tells me to just leave if I want. I would rather sell house and take the penalties because all my money is tied up in this house. I have no family and friends I can go to. He said he won't do any of the legwork to sell either and will refuse to. He only cares about the house and not me.

I suggest things we can do to spend time together, places we can go. He always says no and makes up some sort of excuse. Whenever we go for walks he wants to go home after 5 minutes to go back on his computer and chat to his friends.

I feel trapped and crap. I am not even 30 yet for gods sake. I really can't see any light at the end of this tunnel.

OP posts:
wirldsgonemad · 01/12/2020 19:34

Honestly that sounds miserable. Get a lawyer and start planning your exit, you need good legal advice.

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