So Confused

[rollingwiththetimes]

My first post and new here,will welcome any advice and opinions.I have been in a emotional mess since July 2020. My wife left me in March 2019 and divorce was in December 2019 we had a good marriage of 9 years, but her daughter age 33 always wanted her mother near by had some attachment issues. She left to go to live in France with her daughter who persuaded her to go to have a better life,rich life, fancy clothes etc,celebrity life.I met a wonderful women after the divorce and now we live together.January 2020 I started getting messages from my ex,she wrote that she regretted the divorce,I told her i forgive her, and live the life that you left me for,of course i was still in love.Lets move to July 2020, So I get a message from the ex that she is leaving France to try and get me back, yes we had brief text messages before this, but we agreed just to be friends.
I found out she was living with a very rich man, that offered her marriage, I understand only to get citizenship,she refused the offer and wanted to come back to me and left him, there was no sexual relationship with this man,as he had dysfunction issues.Now she is back in the country. In July,she wanted to give me the closure i wanted.We met and she was very open to what happened she said she went through a crisis, money, and pressure from her daughter.My feelings came back and felt sorry for her.Move to September, I had a phone call at 3am in the morning that her son committed suicide which i lived with him for 6 years.I helped her with all the arrangements and I stayed with her through it all until her daughter flew over the next day.My girlfriend was supportive but also unhappy that i was with her to much.Now my ex wants me back more than ever, she told me its a double tragedy.Christmas is around the corner and she has nobody around her, I don't know if I'm feeling pity or want her back, my girlfriend knows all what has happened because i have been truthful,I love them both in different ways,how did I get myself in this?

You shouldn't have started a new relationship while you were still in love with your ex wife. I'm surprised your current GF is still around.

As for your ex wife, while what happened re her son is horrific - this tragedy is not a firm peg to hang rekindling a relationship on.

Thank you, makes a lot of sense

What has happened to your ex is terrible but I think with her spending Christmas alone too is playing on your mind and you feel pity, remember that she was the one to leave you for a better life but the grass wasn't greener.

Thank you seensome

I feel sorry for your girlfriend. If you can't commit fully to her then do the decent thing and let her go so she stands a chance of finding happiness with someone who will put her first.

As to your ex-wife, love can be a bastard emotion and I get why it's hard if you still have feelings for her. That said, don't be a mug. She didn't give a toss about you when she thought the grass was greener and now she thinks she can just pick you back up again when it suits her? Have some self respect and tell her to do one. All her excuses are meaningless and you have no reason to trust that she won't do it to you all over again. It's tragic what happened to her son but that is not your problem and certainly not a reason to expose yourself to the risk of being fucked over again should the mood ever take her.

All up to you but I would be telling her politely but firmly to piss off and find someone else to make a fool of.

ALL the comments are what I expected, and it hits what my gut tells me

I think you are being very unfair to your current GF. Have you been so truthful that she knows your ex wants you back?
It sounds like your GF has been very loyal and supportive of you, it's a shame your motives are not quite so innocent. You need to make a decision one way or the other, I think you will find that your ex has already shown less allegiance to you and would likely leave you again in future for some other reason.
You can't dangle both of them, it's not fair and you may well end up on your own that way. If you want your relationship with your GF to continue, you should cut contact with your ex, who she has at Xmas should not be your concern. Continue the mess and end up with neither one day.

Point taken