Feel unloveable

[GrumpyRightNow]

I know I'm being silly and I know this feeling will pass but its overwhelming somtimes.

I ended my relationship a month ago. We were together 2.8 years. It ended reasonably but since then he has just turned vicious. It's like hes had a complete personality change. I dont know this man. He was passive aggressive during the relationship but his behaviour since we have ended has been awful.

The things he has said have been eye opening about the way he felt about me and my children.

I met him 6 months after fleeing a 7 year DV relationship. He seemed like a safe option and after so long of being told I was a horrible person unloveable ect I think I was just grateful for someone being "nice" to me

My children are both under 5 and thankfully have not been affected by this but he tried to design it so they were

I am feeling so sad. I've been in 2 not once relationships now. Clearly it's an issue with me isnt it. I dont love myself like I should and twice I've tried to get that love from a man and clearly because I dont love myself I'm not attracting the right sort of man

I'm just feeling really disappointed in myself that I got it wrong badly twice. And now I cant do this again. I need to just focus on being a good mum to my children and learning to love myself I think

It's silly, but all I've ever wanted is a happy family and someone who loves me properly. And I dont think I can ever have that. My children are happy and cared for and that is the main thing, I'm just feeling sorry for myself tonight, it's been a very hard couple of months

You are right, you do have to love yourself enough first before being able to find an appropriate partner. It will not work if you keep wanting someone else to give you love as a substitute to gloss over this fact. So yea, it is a wise move to take time out of relationships and rediscover yourself, and learn to like yourself. You probably went to quick from one bad relationship to the next.
Take a breath, give yourself credit for getting out of this one, he's shown his true colours so you are well rid. Enjoy being a mum and doing your own things for a while. Forget about who you attract for now, self belief will come back, it just takes time.

I mean looking at it another way - you’ve been strong enough to end two unhealthy relationships. You are also reflecting on how/why you ended up with the people you did.

Give yourself credit and stop putting yourself down.