I've changed names for this post but am a regular.
I lost my husband about 2.5 years ago. Since then I've had one relationship with a fellow widower which has now ended and I'm now looking at OLD.
My marriage was a good marriage in most ways and overall we were very happy but we were not sexually compatible and over the years our sex life which was never good dwindled and then disappeared when my husband became ill. Whether this would have ended our marriage in the long term, I don't know, but it was becoming an issue between us mainly because I wasn't happy with a sexless marriage.
The man I was with after he died was totally different and had a high libido, loved sex and was a very considerate partner and he opened my eyes up to what I'd been missing. He was in his 50's.
I'm in my late 40's and am now as i said, looking to move forward and physical compatibility is really important, I don't want to go back to how it was with my husband.
I'm scared that the man I was with was a 1 off. My husband had no interest in sex and when we did have it, which was extremely rare, it was very functional as he struggled so much to finish. He struggled with ED which he wouldn't seek help with. I guess my question is, was this normal and the new guy was the exception (he had no issues in this area at all) or is it more common that healthy men in their late 40's / 50's still consider sex to be important and are able to have a mutually fufilling sex life?