I've been with my partner around 12 years and we have had a few issues.
Something occurred to me over this weekend is that maybe he is jealous of me.
I have, for a long time, noticed how he doesn't really acknowledge or praise me. I have posted on here about how I do most around the house but he point blank refuses to acknowledge this and seems to get agitated if I ever bring up how I do all the washing, hooevering etc etc. I am fine with doing it all - he works more than I do. But, I acknowledge the fact that he works hard - often. He also does the washing up, and the entire extended family know this because he is always mentioning it! I do everything else, but it seems this is not to be mentioned.
Anyway, a few years ago, I took up running. I joined a running club, met new people and am reasonably good for my age. I really enjoy it. I have come to realise that he rarely comes along to races, when he does, he is impatient to get home, doesn't really talk to me about it and I end up feeling deflated instead of proud of my acheivement. I understand he might be bored and have told him it is fine if he doesn't come - sometimes he does and mostly he doesn't. I never push and in fact, prefer it if he doesn't come because I can then relax and cheer on other runners and chat with friends. When he is there, this becomes impossible because he sulks and gets impatient.
A few weeks ago, I ran a virtual marathon - my first one. It was a huge acheivement for me but he barely acknowledged it. I rarely post on social media, but I did post that day and had so many people messaging me and congratulating me and I felt so happy that people were being so nice to me. He (I think deliberately) went out to get shopping when he knew I would be finishing, so there was no-one there when I finished running which felt like a bit of an anti climax. Other running friends had partners who biked with them, brought them food and drink and gave them a massive welcome home. My partner told me how he had put up two pictures whilst I had been out! He didn't even offer me a cup of tea when he got home and I just made the dinner an hour later like a normal day. Even if he does say "well done" it comes across as cold and not genuine. There certainly will be no extended conversation.
I have never acheived very much in my work life so I haven't seen jealousy there but when I have spent time with friends or my daughter (we both have kids with ex's), I have also seen the same reaction. He goes very quiet and doesn't really engage with me. Not enough for it to be obvious enough that I can confront him about it and if I did, I fear he would simply accuse me of being attention seeking, which is not the case at all.
I have always been encouraging of him to find new interests and hobbies but he seems to only want to be with me or his family. He is outgoing and had previously belonged to different clubs before he met me but he just makes excuses now. Indeed, he only goes out when I am out, which feels a bit odd.
He always seems to be a listening ear, when I'm having a bad time but not so, when things are going well.
I have always thought that he is just uncomfortable with people who are a bit "gushy" and he was not brought up that way. He has some big issues over his own family not praising him enough. I had always just dismissed it as him just "being that way" but actually is it more than that?