Hi,
I have this friend, who I have known for more than 10 years, who seems to be completely stuck in a negative mindset about her life and I am wondering what approach other MN users would take with her.
The positives are she is kind and thoughtful, would do anything to help, is gregarious and entertaining to be around when she is in a good frame of mind. She is also attractive, financially independent, owns her own home yet has never settled down with anyone decent or had children which she would have loved. She can be relentlessly negative about everything. The glass is half empty or empty. She won't listen to any advice, is anti-therapy and can be very draining to spend a lot of time with. Hence my strategy is to limit time with her which is such a shame as I can see she is a good person underneath.
She has ended up living with her mother who is quite a toxic character, who controls every aspect of her life including who can or can't come to the house. The mother who is on her own sold her flat with the intention of buying one closer to my friend, moved in whilst buying and hasn't bought anything in the nearly ten years she has been there. Nothing is good enough. Obviously she never intended to buy and now uses age and illnesses to cling onto my friend as her carer. She regularly has tantrums if she doesn't get her own way and is generally moody, opinionated and difficult to live with. Her other two children are low and no contact.
I know how co-dependent and depressing this sounds but I would like to ask if there is anything I can do to get her to dig herself out of this hole. I know she is depressed but won't seek help. I am not intending to let this affect me but was wondering if there is some sort of advice for her that I haven't though of.