What does your DP do that makes you know he ‘cares deeply’

[HeyChubbee]

Inspired by a comment on another thread about having someone who cares deeply about you, but how do you know they do?

He has loved me through thick and thin, and has always shown tenderness.
He has kept his word, he has my back, he stands up for me to anyone.
He works so hard to support us all, and never makes me feel bad or ashamed for being supported by him.
He truly listens, and takes on board what I say and feel.
He does things to make my life easier, to bring me joy, and it makes him happy to see me happy.
He is open with me, and shared his thoughts and feelings too.
He makes me feel proud of him, and shoes he is proud of me too. We have overcome so much throughout the decades , and he is unfaltering.

Brings me a cup of tea in the morning. When we walk the dog and there's a slippery slope, he'll walk slowly in front of me just in case I slip. I know when he's annoyed with me as he doesn't wait on those days.

Lovely thread OP ❤️
We have had some horrendous times in our marriage & could easily have split up but DH has been working soooo hard to make up for all that & to prove how much he’s changed. He really is my rock now.
When I’m sad or pissed off, he says “ Pull Up A Husband”🙂
DD11 can be extremely challenging but DH tries everything to connect with her, no matter what she throws at him.
He’s brilliant when I’m ill.
He makes a lovely cuppa & is a great cook & baker. His bread is delicious.
He gives the best hugs & doesn’t complain about our love life, which sadly is non existent due to the menopause & has been for quite a while 😢
He can’t keep his hands off me, even though I have put on 4 stone & don’t exactly look my best
He has my back
He apologises sincerely ( this was one of our problems in the past but our communication has improved vastly)
He does little romantic gestures, like putting an “ I Love You” note in my work packed lunch the other day.
I always get 2 dozen red roses on Valentines Day, even when he’s not in the country.
I’m lucky! It really took hitting rock bottom to appreciate what I have now. DH is a good person who behaved badly & has more than made up for that.

"Tea" every morning, he gets up an hour before me to work out and does so without waking me, then brings up my hot water with lemon at 6 ish.
Deals with all washing and bins, just because I hate doing them.
Watches eastenders with me, and at this time of year, any crap hallmark film I want.
Brings me flowers.
Does my hot water bottle for me (he's just brought it in now, its not full enough but nice try).
Gives me a kiss before we go to sleep, and when I go to work in the morning.
We are young grandparents, I'm 40 and he's 45 and my 22 yo has our lovely 1 Yr old dgd. He's an amazing granddad and she's not a blood relation to him which makes their bond even cuter.
He's well good and I never doubt how much he cares 😊

Always charges my toothbrush when it's running out without me even needing to say anything.

Has me a cup of tea made waiting every morning when I go down and in the evening for me.

Cooks us the most amazing food.

Goes to the shop and gets me the things I love without being asked.

Gets me amazing thoughtful gifts.

Always compliments me.

Texts to ask how I am every day and how my day is going at some point during the working day.

Lots and lots of things.
One particular memory is when my grandfather was deteriorating from Parkinson's disease and his muscles had stiffened up at a family party as his medication was due. He called for my partner. Who discreetly and unbeknown to me at the time, carried him to a taxi, took the taxi to his home, made sure he was settled, medicated and safe then returned to me at the party. A diamond.

Coffee first thing on a morning and a kiss on the forehead without fail when he gets home from work. I've got chronic back pain and he often tells me to sit my arse down and let him sort the house/kids/school. Bouquet of flowers if he's done the big shop and dyes my roots for me. Ahhh fucking hell I proper love the silly bastard. Lovely thread.

Asks me what time I need to be up in the morning (we don't live together yet) and will set his alarm so he can ring me to make sure I'm up, even if doesn't need to be up so early. Then sets his alarm for when he needs to be up and goes back to sleep.

Surprised me recently even though he'd been up at 4am for work, by going to muck my horse out because he'd finished work before me and knew I was feeling under the weather because of a cold (he's non-horsey which makes it even more special - he hates horses!)

Listens to me going on and puts up with my grumpiness. A genuinely nice bloke who I can rely on every time. I'm very lucky

Brings me coffee ☕in bed every morning.

Massages my bad back. Massages my aching feet.

Is obliging if you ask him to do something.

Is always kind. Even when I'm not.

So many things. He always washes up after dinner, brings me cuppas, runs me baths, makes me loads of cuppas, cuddles me before I’ve even started crying as he knows me so well he knows when I’m about to, shows happiness when I come home, openly appreciates everything I do for the family, would always happily change nappies/bath children/do bedtimes/let me sleep. The best big thing he did, also the most romantic gesture in my mind, was when he went in to work at 3am, five hours early, just so he could finish earlier and be there at the start of visiting hours when I was recovering after surgery in hospital...this was before we were even living together, I was expecting him in the evening and had nobody else to visit me, he walked in after lunch with such a look of happiness to be with me and happy that I was doing okay.

He was furloughed and I was working, and he got up every morning when my alarm went off to make me a coffee.

One night I was crying (PMT, sick of lockdown etc) and he gave me a massage with no sexual undertones and held me until I slept. I'm normally not massively emotional, so it meant a lot that he accepted it and just offered love.

Really really listens and it shows in the smallest, sweetest ways. For example, this morning the soap he chose was all because I had talked about the scent of something I like. That's a lame example perhaps but he listens so incredibly well, it makes me feel bad for not knowing as much as about me.
Cuddles me on the sofa, rubbing my head and puts the most tender soft kisses on my face.
Talks about our future in such a confident way. He's not future faking. It's just him showing he can see us together.
Laughs at me, a lot.
Really wants to understand things bothering me.
Sighs happily when we are lying together on the bed and the dogs are in, and says "now our family are all together."

He is amazing

If he sees my shower gel upside down because it's near the end, he gets a new one out the cupboard so I never run out.

No-one cares about me, let alone deeply. I’m unloveable.

My OH works night shifts, almost every single morning when he gets back (around half 7) he gets our boys (as our baby girl keeps me up throughout the night) up makes them breakfast etc and lets me lie in. I also usually wake up to a lovely cuppa

Day to day we sort of plod along and get on with it but when the poo hits the fan he’s amazing. I had a bad time in October and he was so supportive. It’s times like that I realise that 20 years & 2 kids later we aren’t all hearts and roses but when it gets tough he steps up. He also works hard to provide for us as a family. I work too but he doesn’t put me under pressure (lost business due to Covid unfortunately). He’s a keeper although I would love it if he stopped snoring!

He's treated me as an equal throughout our relationship (as I have him), paused his career to take a turn at being the SAHP so I can pick up mine, and in the last few weeks while I've been injured he's cared for me and run the household absolutely unconditionally, not a drop of irritation, or expectation of reward or recompense.

@CherryPavlova does he have a brother for me? he sounds lovely and you sound perfectly matched

Does the weekly shop because he knows I hate it. Cooks tea almost every night and then cleans up later because I'm a lark and crap in the evenings.
Dislikes confrontation but on the few occasions someone has sniped at me in front of him, he's immediately slapped them down - not physically.
If he's stressed or angry about something, he's never once taken it out on me. (I can't claim the same thing re. him...)
Tells me he loves me and that I'm beautiful a lot.
Is always happy to see me.
I think it can be summed up by saying he prioritises me over himself always. I really hope I don't take advantage of that too much.

@CinnabarRed

No-one cares about me, let alone deeply. I’m unloveable.

Shame you feel like that @CinnabarRed - take care of yourself.

Had to go into work this morning, it’s actually a day I don’t work, he has cleaned the whole house this morning. Many brownie points scored.

I’m currently not very well and he’s made me lots of cups of tea and keeps coming to check on me to see what I need.

Last week, my DH was really excited about having a lie in as it was his first day off for a while and had been a long week for various reasons.

I am suffering from morning sickness and woke very early and couldn’t get back to sleep as I felt so unwell. At 6am I gave up, and I was trying to sneak out the bedroom quietly - so he didn’t wake - he heard me and asked if I was okay.

I explained I was going to go and watch tv downstairs but would be fine and to go back to sleep. He insisted on getting up with me though and making me tea and toast, while we watched a box set together, so I wasn’t sitting alone feeling sick. He doesn’t have to do things like that, he just does.

We fall asleep in a heap each night and say mushie things to eachother.

He extravagantly compliments everything I cook.

He's SO encouraging and kind especially when I find something really hard.

He tells me I look nice all the time and says thank you and that I'm kind every time I do anything for him.

He's SO sweet to me when I'm ill. Like I know everyone's DP should be but he seems to know if I want to be left alone or kept company. When I had the flu and couldn't hold a conversation he just brought me tea and soup and took my temperature.

He watches me do my hobbie and shouts advice and well done for HOURS.

I love him. We're a good team.

Every morning I wake up to him putting his arms around me and telling me how much he loves me and how happy he is to be married to me. That is enough ❤️