Can you separate and live in the same house ?

[theburbs90]

We don't have a spare room. Is it possible to be apart but still under the same roof? We have DC. Where would the other one sleep ? I'm not sleeping on a mattress or the sofa and he wouldn't either

Someone needs to move out then, or move in with a dc. Why do you want to stay in the same house?

Guess it depends on the reasons. If you need to be separate just to be away from the relationship while one of you sorts a new place it's possible to share with dc or 1 dc each. If it's longer term then wil get hard and boundaries blurred and if you mean for benefits purposes it is possible but there is a lot to prove and hoops to go through.

You can but if you meet someone else you can't expect them to put up with the situation. You also can't live with someone you used to love and expect to be able to do as you please without considering them in the way you can when you're single.

If you want to live together indefinitely then really what you want is an open relationship without sex, which is a bit different to being single with a housemate.

Op, why do you want to separate?

No, not for an extended period of time anyway.
People might try it with great intentions or do it out of necessity at the start but the situation will generally become intolerable.

Also in your case you don't have a spare room and neither of you would be willing to sleep on a mattress or a sofa so that suggests the situation is already bad? Clearly you can't stay in the same room.

In my experience I think once people make the decision they should get the ball rolling straight away, if not it's just a long drawn out break up...and even putting up with things like the other person dating when they're still in the house with you. Even if you don't want to be with them then that would be weird or could throw up lots of emotions for you.

One of you needs to leave as that cant work. In any case if you did have a spare room, it could only work for a short while, whilst sorting other accommodation.

It can occasionally work in the short term but not in the circumstances you describe. In such a situation, each having your own space in vital. One of you needs to move out.

Replace the sofa with a day-bed/sofa bed.

One of you needs to leave the bed. Who will be moving out?

This won't work. If one of you starts a new relationship, sharing a bed will become intolerable for both of you.

Well, you are not just sharing the same house but the same bed!

Get a sofa bed at the least!

There have been a number of threads about this and the general consensus of experience is that it didn't work. If you are not amicable enough or realistic enough about the split to agree on who moves out of the bedroom, then it doesn't have a hope of working. You are clearly still in conflict with each other. For it to have any chance of working you really would have had to shift your relationship to friendship only, or at least being aimable, and not caring if the other formed a new relationship.

No it’s awful and we have a spare room. Nothing would persuade me to get into bed with him again.

How long for?

Sofa bed in the lounge or doubling up with the kids is fine in the short term, plenty of separating couples make do in the short term ... but not long term. What's going to happen when one of you starts dating? How'd you fancy meeting your husband's new girlfriend in the kitchen one morning.
What if it was your kids finding her there ... yuck.