If you are scatty / forgetful, do you apologise?

[bogglegoggle]

Every couple of months or so, a friend of mine will drop me at short notice because she is double-booked, or just forget to get back to me about something. Now, I get that not everyone is super-organised and that this is part of who she is, but the thing that is starting to irritate me more and more is that she doesn't apologise. If the roles were reversed, I'd be super apologetic and offering to make it up in some way. I'm just wondering if someone could suggest why she doesn't apologise.

She's not your friend. Why put up with this shoddy behaviour?

She doesn't think you're important enough to deserve an apology/she has no manners.
I'd not be bothering with her in the future.

I feel you OP. I ceased contact in August with my best friend of 20 years because she simply can't apologise and blames everything she forgets on 'menopause brain'. Now I get that people can be forgetful for many reasons but for god's sake it's not hard to apologise is it! She didn't apologise and even worse, tried to turn the tables on me for overreacting about her lack of memory. That.. along with a few other things made me bin her off for good. She'll forget me soon enough anyway I guess, if she is that forgetful. Done with being messed around, you have to go with your gut but I understand it's difficult

Sometimes narcissistic selfish characters are the ones least likely to apologise, they just have to be in control. You don't really need to know why..not apologising for a wrongdoing in human nature doesn't need to come with an explanation or a diagnosis. The person involved often doesn't think they have done anything wrong even though it's blindingly obvious if it's an error on their part. It's just shit and you don't need to know any more than that because picking it apart won't gain anything sadly

I am scatty and forgetful, (I wish I wasn't and am constantly working on it) and I always apologise! I hate it when I let people down and will always try to make it up to them.

I have been known to be a bit scatty from time to time, but I make sure I apologise and set up a network of remainders. I once missed a hair dressers appointment and paid in full, however I have never left a friend standing outside a cafe waiting, nor would I ever double book a friend.

I would very rarely cancel a friend at short notice and only with good reason and yes I always apologise. I wouldn't take a friend like yours seriously and only arrange if you you had nothing better to do, if she was really looking forward to, surely she would keep doing it.

She’s not scatty - she just keeps you as an option and when someone / something else comes along she does that instead. She doesn’t apologise because she believes she is entitled to do this because she believes she is superior to you.

You are not her priority only a third division reserve / holding place appointment to her.

No one deserves to be treated like this. This is not a loyal, reciprocal, equal or mutual friendship. Maybe she is giving you “the fade” - if so cut to the chase and flip the switch for her.

Life is too precious and short to be hanging around as someone else’s option.