Escorts ... could you forgive ?

[Lora88]

If your partner had sent some messages to escorts when having consumed alcohol but you was 100% he’d not met them and you new yourself you’d not been great with giving affection and infrequent sex would you get past it and forgive ?

This is your drug-using, gambling partner who was messaging these escorts while lying on the sofa with you, yes?

Nope. Would never in a million years forgive this or even want to get passed it.

Vile man sees women as a commodity to use and abuse. Urghhh

Is this the way you want the rest of your life to be?

Another hard no I'm afraid OP, I couldn't get past the woman-hating scum thing either.

As someone who had been there and got the hideous t shirt - don’t even bother. They aren’t ‘just looking’ and someone who does this won’t change.
I can’t tell you this enough - this is who is is and there is no changing him. Just walk away

Never. Ever. And you are a glutton for punishment if you do.

Drugs
Gambling
Escorts

If you don't respect yourself enough to break up with him then do it for your kids for goodness sake.

I remember your previous threads. He is absolutely fucking vile.

Put your kids first and don't teach them this is what a healthy and happy relationship looks like. It isn't. At all.

No.

Bin the fucker now he’s not worth it.

@CaraDuneRedux

No, because I see prostitution as fundamentally exploitative and the men who use prostitutes as woman-hating scum. I could not get past the fact that I'd just discovered my partner was woman-hating scum.

Could not agree more with this.

Also "infrequent sex" and "lack of affection" are issues in a relationship that you talk through and try and remedy not an excuse for terrible behaviour.

Nope. I've got more self respect.

Could I forgive my husband trawling the Internet to find just the right person to have want over, fantasise about or have sex with? No.

Sorry

No.

No, I would end it because he's disrespectful
Please tell me you did the same

No, he has no respect for women.

The thing about escorts is that they have an online profile describing their body, their looks and personality. They have photos.

When men call them up they kid themselves this is like seeing a girlfriend they pay to have guaranteed sex with - with no strings.
They are still prostitutes.
The intention was there and how do you know he hasn't done it before OP ?

Hell no.

For the aforementioned woman hating scum reason.

And given how you’re talking about yourself, because he’s a gas lighter.

And because I very much doubt it stopped at messages.

He’s admitting to the minimum, a minimum he thinks he can get away with because he’s put work into grinding down your self-esteem with his gaslighting and because he sees women as fundamentally stupid and not worth telling the truth.

No because I know this is not part of a healthy relationship. This is a toxic relationship that has no future.

I am a man. I would not be expected to be forgiven or have anything other than the relationship ending were I to do this, and the views expressed here are no surprise.

Messaging is just as bad as cheating IMO. The intention was there to sleep with a sex worker if he could get away with it thus risking my health and being unfaithful and viewing women as a purchasable commodity.

No, no, no. It's proof he sees women as objects to satisfy his 'needs'. You haven't been providing the correct services so he's looking elsewhere. I suspect the lack of affection & sex in your relationship stems from this lack of basic respect, not some 'deffectiveness' on your part. You deserve someone who sees you as an actual human being, not a support human.

Probably not in my heart of hearts, even though I would try. I also wouldn't trust him again which would lead to a destructive cycle.

@Flowers31

No, he has no respect for women.

No. This ^ He’d be out on his ear.