I really don't know how to feel

[BitOfANameChange]

I left my ex 3 years ago, after 30 years of abuse. I had a thread on here about it, and gained so much support during the leaving process.

Anyway, I got a call this morning. My ex was taken away from his work yesterday in an ambulance and died overnight.

He was alone, didn't have contact with anyone, and the police were contacting his work in case they had any contact details for anyone. My cousin, who worked there, was contacted, she phoned me this morning, and I then phoned his work, who are passing my number on to the police.

My eldest DC will be the next of kin, I guess, but I'll help as much as I can, as she's only 20 and has no idea what to do, once we've got confirmation.

And I don't know what I feel right now. He was abusive, financial, emotional, verbal, sexual, so I do know I feel a whole load of relief that he can never hurt me again. I guess I'm still feelling in shock about it. It feels so surreal. He would be 60 next year, and I was hoping the DC (who don't talk to him, their choice) would be able to find something of a relationship with him in time, for their sakes.

I feel so out of sorts, for want of a better description, I can't settle.

Police just left, it's confirmed he's died. Feel shocked, it's so sudden.

They came by on behalf of the neighbouring police service, as he'd been taken to a different city. So I still have to get in touch with the other force tomorrow to sort out things like belongings, etc, and what happens next.

Oh gosh, that's awful. so sorry for you and your DC.

I'm sorry. That's really tough. Do you have anyone who can support you?

I've got some family, and his ex wife (I called because she's a friend - long story, and I felt it was right that she heard about it properly and not on the grapevine). They'd divorced before I met ex.

DC taking it very well. They were NC with their dad, he abused them, too. I think they'll inherit everything, and it will be a decent amount. I guess it makes up for him not paying child support. They were listening from the top of the stairs like little kids while the police were here, although nothing was said that they shouldn't hear.

Selfishly, I'd like to get the funeral out of the way before Xmas. And I guess I'll have to call his place of work tomorrow, and let them know I'll collect his car once I get the keys. Can park it up at his home. I'd had to leave as we weren't married, but there's still stuff of mine there I couldn't get initially. Kids have already said they don't want to live in his house, but I'll look at all that later on.

It's surreal.