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Why now?

7 replies

higherbaby · 28/11/2020 10:41

A few months prior to lockdown, I was back in touch with an “ex”. There was talk of meeting up and having another go, which I just couldn’t quite commit to as he hurt me a lot before. More than once. But I know I would have eventually. Then obviously lockdown happened. Eventually contact dwindled in about April. We had re-added each other on SM, but never interacted on there at all.

He recently put up a photo of him and what is obviously a new girlfriend. Ouch, but okay.

Days later I get a message, asking how I am. Then going on again to ask if I’m happy, that he cares about me a lot, thinks about me a lot. I asked why he was asking. He said because he cares. I said I was, glad he was, and that was it. No reply. Another few days and he liked a photo i put on SM.

I feel like he’s rubbing my face in it and wants to make sure I don’t forget him. I feel like I need to delete him. I don’t want to see him with someone else.

Or is he just saying let’s put all this behind us and be friendly? And me deleting him will come across as bitter?

Sorry if it all sounds very teenage, I've got a lot on my mind and this is playing on it now too.

Thanks.

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 28/11/2020 10:52

Stay away from your ex, they are ex's often for good reason. Ask yourself why you got back in touch with him at all (perhaps out of loneliness, rose tinted glasses of nostalgia).

He has another girlfriend and yet is messaging you saying he thinks about you a lot etc. He is basically further priming you into hurting you again. Such people are truly masters of, "come closer so I can hurt you again".

I would actually go as far to remove yourself completely from SM or at the very least further raise your privacy settings on same. Let him go completely.

Bunnymumy · 28/11/2020 10:53

Trust your gut. He wants the ego boost of thinking you are still pining after him. Delete and block. It isnt petty, it's the grown up thing to do. He can take your last message as you saying 'all the best and goodbye' with how it ended.

higherbaby · 28/11/2020 11:08

I just don't understand why someone would be so calculating.

OP posts:
Ironingontheceiling · 28/11/2020 11:09

Just delete and block.

Bunnymumy · 28/11/2020 11:10

Some people are just not decent human beings.

Might be worth reading up on narcissists (nod) to see if any if those traits are familiar. And google narcissistic hoovering (when they try to come back into your life/come back in in some capacity, after the break up).

Bunnymumy · 28/11/2020 11:10

*npd

Not nod

higherbaby · 28/11/2020 11:25

I'll do that. Although I think I know the answer.

OP posts:
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