Longest time in a relationship without sex?

[RosyPickle]

Really struggling with the lack of sex in what is a relatively 'young' relationship (less than 3 years). My partner has been through a really tough time and is quite run down so I understand why it is, plus the last couple of times we tried he got ED.

I need to try and get a real sense of whether this is normal or salvageable and while i know comparisons are not much help, can I please ask you to tell me the longest you've gone without and what the outcome was?

Thank you.

Been several months now. DH has lost interest and whilst he's willing if I request, his heart isn't in it so the rex was rubbish so it's dried up.

Not showing any signs of changing.

Seriously-I have no interest in sex. I can’t bring myself to admit how long it’s been.

It’s a young relationship it shouldn’t be this much hard work. Get out now while you can. Don’t be one of them women who post on here all the time that are miserable and depressed that their man never wants sex. It won’t change it will only get worse. Sorry but that is my honest opinion if sex is important to you then this isn’t the man for you. If you are happy to live as friends then that’s fine only you can decide what you want but don’t kid yourself that you can help him or change him because you can’t

7 years, ending with us splitting up when we’d been together 30 years. I just couldn’t get over the shit things he said, I didn’t want him, so I didn’t have sex with him. Gradually stopped holding hands, cuddling before sleep etc. As I was by that time 53, I was ready to pack up my tent and accept that sex was no longer something I did. Until I started dating, and I was back to my insatiable 22 year old self!

So yes, it can come back, maybe not with your partner though. Three years is not a long relationship. It sounds like a lot of work is needed but first you both need to agree it’s an important problem to sort out. If he minimises it then the outlook is bleak.

Thanks for the replies, it's been helpful to get an idea of the range of experiences. We both agree that sex is important, I think the ED has knocked his confidence though. He's going to see the doctor this week to discuss it further so hopefully we'll get back on track. I don't want to leave, hopefully it's just a phase but time will tell I suppose. I'm worried by how run down he seems, but blood tests all came back fine. We're working on getting healthy and will hopefully join a gym once they open back up.

Sounds like he is depressed, depression causes ED and ED aggravates depression. It’s a vicious circle. To us men an inability to have sex undermines our ego and perceptions of our masculinity. Getting fit will certainly help, a good work out enhances mental well being as well as physical fitness. He seems to realise there is an issue which is a good start