Could be leaving husband of 10 years

[Mrshmorris17]

I have been feeling all sorts towards my husbands for a few weeks now, I get annoyed at such small things and i'm fed up with the same shit different day stuff. Laundry on the floor, jobs being started but not finished, the correct bins not going out etc. I do everything round the house, laundry, the deep cleans.

He helps tidy of an evening the two days he works from home and weekends. He doesn't however think to turn the dishwasher on most nights (if he is in the kitchen last), he doesn't think to do other things but he always use to be good at these things.

Ever since I met him he has always been on about being his own boss but then does F all about it, it's all talk no action. He had a perfect opportunity being furloughed back in April-May and all these mortgage holidays.

Sometimes I even get annoyed at the way he handles situations with the kids even though he is the best most hands on father and I know we are both the parents so no Idea why I feel this way?

I told him last night I'm not sure I want to be with him anymore and I am in bits, lately I have been feeling so empty, nothing is making me happy sometimes even the kids (even though they are my world and I know full well that I love them dearly, they always come first and everything I do is for them).

I was made redundant in June, haven't found a job since, money is a massive issue, I have two businesses that I am struggling to get moving. NOTHING is going right and normally in situations like this I'd want my husband but instead I find I look at him and although I know I love him I feel nothing.

He is great, so hands on and I am very lucky, I hit the jackpot with him and even my friends are in awe of how he is as a husband and father so what the actual F is wrong with me!

Why do I feel this way? Is it the famous 7 year itch but a 10 years? I desperately want to feel that overwhelming love I once had for him, so intense it hurt. How can that suddenly just disappear.

I don't know what to do, I feel so sick, I don't want to lose him, I don't want to break this family and I don't want to mess everything up that we've worked so hard to get.

What do I do?

Thanks so much for reading. x

Is it possible you're projecting your feelings of unhappiness or whatever onto him? As I read your post I was thinking that a lot of your complaints about his behaviour around the house could be applied to me at times - and I'm female (just scatty)!
Could it be your job situation that has highlighted all those other things?

nothing is making me happy

This stood out to me. Do you think it's possible that you're projecting all of your stress, anxiety and unhappiness onto your marriage/husband? It's been a very difficult year and so many are simply overwhelmed. My impression is that how you're feeling is actually more about you than it is him. How old are you, op?

you both sound depressed.
is it possible to take a break and do some family fun stuff?

I have no idea how to handle this, I could be projecting everything onto him
The last 2 years have been hard, from going from 1 kid to 2 kids, lockdwon, my dad passing, covid, being made redundant, issues with my brothers girlfriend.

I've never felt this low before. I'm 31, and I feel like I'm having a breakdown. I never ever thought I'd say to my husband that I can't do this anymore. I'm stuck.

Oh and we hardly have sex. Since my daughter was born last year I've lost my drive.

He brought this up a couple of months ago, we talked and worked through it but its gone back to how it was.

Doctors I think you sound depressed.

You're feeling about you more than him? Could be but I'm also not sure what you mean or what to do about this.

I feel like I'm stuck and I can't do anything.

What can they do other day drugs? Too scared to take them. Seeing my mum over the years basically drowsy all the time on the meds isn't a good memory. I don't want that for my kids. But equally don't want them seeing me like this.

You sound low and given you have recently had a baby have you considered PND?

I also think 10 years is around the stage when boredom kicks in so that could be a factor but you have young children, money stresses and Covid...it's likely to be all of these factors. Don't make any decisions until you see a GP.

It sounds like you have a good man but life stresses are pulling you apart. It could be temporary so just take one small step by seeing a GP.

I think you should see your doctor and perhaps try to get some joint counselling. Antidepressants nowadays don't make you drowsy at all and can really help you to cope at difficult times.

What's standing out to me that your relationship was once great. Given everything you've been through it doesn't sound like it's in terrible shape.
You sound like you're coping with so much though. It's too much. I would speak to your GP to see what can be done and I would definitely see if there is any affordable counselling you can access online or over the phone.
Good luck and be kind to yourself

Antidepressants shouldn't make you drowsy if they do they are not the right ones for you x

I think you should consider the possibility that you have a hormonal imbalance, which can turn your life and mental health upside down. Are you using birth control?

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!

Honestly thank you sooo much, you've all really helped me see the bigger picture and I can start getting myself out of this rut!

He is a very very good man, we have always been happy and a relationship that has been admired by everyone.

I couldn't bare the thought of losing him and after talking to a friend and you guys I finally realise its the world getting on top of me, everything that has happened! I have had it all on my shoulders and maybe not been the best talker.

I know my husband is stressed over everything, especially finances, he is worried we could lose the house that we (mainly him) worked so hard to get (we had a 3 month old, pushed out our flat and moved back in with family so we saved and saved and saved to get our first proper home together).

I had my daughter a year ago (little over) we aren't on birth control as I wanted he Implant and doctors are just starting (part of the reason why we rarely have sex, we don't want any more kids) to have people back in for appointments.

I know people have it worse than me so I really let quilt get on top of me as well for even thinking like this.

Breakdowns are no joke.