Dumped a guy I’ve been seeing for 5 months.
I’ve not seen him for a while. It’s complicated. Yes there’s a previous thread about the fact I’m still in same household as STBEXH and this guy has caring responsibilities.
However after a pretty challenging few weeks for me and lack of emotional support ever being forthcoming from him I went around there to clear the air and see how things were.
To be clear the conversation on messages weren’t me being over burdensome. It went very much like Me how are you. How’s work. How’s mum - I listen. Respond. Eventually might get asked how I am. Reply - underplaying challenges but still clear I’m not exactly great. Him. Nothing. Or comes back with yeah that’s not good Then about him.
Get there and there is no physical embrace or general pleased to see me.
Talk about him. Conversation moved to money. He then mentions something relating to some job changes of mine and money. Start to talk about it to him. He picks up his phone. Carries on playing solitude. I pause to see if he’s listening. Pick him up on it. He clearly isn’t paying attention. Tell him he’s rude.
Long conversation about some stuff with him. And it was LONG. I remained focused on him. Responsive. Good friend/girlfriend. Focused on his mental health and it was a bit of an explaination to some of his colder avoidant behaviours.
Then he asks me about the same thing I was trying to tell him at the very beginning like I’d not mentioned anything. Told him we’d discussed this and nothing more to add. Asked me a question. Started to reply. He started watching tv and was disinterested again although pretended he was listening.
I got up. Told him do you know what. You don’t deserve me. I deserve better. Your behaviour is selfish insular cold disinterested and avoidant. I’ve allowed some of it cos of your mental health but actually I think it’s something you will always be. He said where’s this come from. The fact you’d rather watch tv the second that something isn’t focused on you. There’s a reason your previous relationships didn’t work and I won’t be visiting again.
He literally stood there and let me go. I made the right decision - now to stick to it. Although I feel shitty as his OCD and anxiety is bad but if he won’t go GP and isn’t motivated to change things what I can do? I also think he’s inherently selfish or even suspect he’s An undiagnosed Adult Asperger