Can this work long term?

[Givemeabreak88]

I have 4 children with my ex (aged under 10) he sees them once a fortnight for the day with no overnights (this is his choice, he decided to rent out his home to lodgers so the children aren’t able to stay there overnight, it is also 2 hours away meaning 4 hours of travelling on public transport for one day, which means they don’t go there for the day either) he sees them by coming down here and taking them out for the day, obviously that’s been difficult with lock down and most things being closed. So he hasn’t seen them for most of it. I just can’t see how this can work going forward, I feel like I’m the only one in this situation. He will cancel things if it’s raining or the weather is bad For example. I don’t want him in my house so I’ve had to put my foot down about that. Do you think this can work as a long term plan? Is anyone else in a similar situation?

It doesn't seem like he's that bothered about seeing them but the emphasis is on him if he wants to change it

No he isn’t , I think he is doing it out of guilt, I asked if he would call them in between visits as 2 weeks Is a long time with no contact but he did it once and hasn’t since (a month ago)

He sounds shit but its his relationship with them that will suffer so it's his choice. Does he pay maintenance?

Yes, £7 a week

He doesn't call between visits? Wow.

He cannot expect to sustain any kind of meaningful relationship with his children with so little effort.

Is it 7 per child per week? That's not going to get you very far. He sounds shit in all respects.

My ex has only seen the DC a handful of times since lockdown 1.0
Hes always got an excuse. "Were not allowed because of lockdown". "You can't come here because of rule of 6" etc. All bullshit of course. He doesn't pay maintenance either, or contact the dc

'Luckily' mine are teens so they know he's a liar and a waste of space.

No it’s £7 for all children. £28 a month total.

No he doesn’t call at all, I’ve asked as I think at least it maintains some kind of contact as my children know he isn’t bothered about them so I thought at least he could show them he is thinking about them in between visits, he agreed with me on this, called them once on the 31st of October and hasn’t done since. (He last saw them not Sunday gone but the Sunday before, and has made no plans for when he will next see them)

Fuck me what a loser. Can you imagine behaving that way towards your DC? I cant even picture a world where I'd abandon my children to that extent and not care enough to even call them - what on earth is wrong with these men? It truly baffles me how they can detach the way they do after being with their children from birth.

Also - £7 a week for four DC?! How does he get away with that? That should be bloody illegal! I'm assuming he's on benefits? But if he's renting his house out surely that's an income?

Do you actually want this waste of oxygen to be around long term? Be better to cut him out altogether IMO, he adds nothing to your DCs life if they already think he doesn't care about them. Wanker!

He pays a pittance and rarely phones or sees his own kids. What a charmer. So sorry op, this is a shit situation for you and them. I doubt the current trips to see them will work longer term, but this is on him. Pathetic excuse for a father.

I’ve considered cutting contact many times but everyone tells me not to? I don’t know what’s best, my children know he doesn’t care about them and my 8 year old asked me why his dad doesn’t like him and if he could get a new dad or is it to late

Yes he is on benefits but rents out his rooms, apparently that is perfectly legal!