Is my karma finally over?

[cleanslate22]

I'm going to try and keep this short and to the point (not a skill I really have!)

I've been in my current relationship for nearly 6 years, both really similar and wanted the same things- got pregnant (planned) and he changed and hasn't really changed back. He's very critical of me and the things I do/don't do. He's broken me down over the years even though I'm quite a strong person and push back as much as I can.

I've always thought that this was my karma for a previous relationship where he absolutely loved every inch of me and was so lovely, I wasn't the nicest to him and at times damn right nasty! I've only realised how shit I was looking back and would love to apologise to him but I'm not going to barge in to his life 6 years down the line! On some level I feel like I deserve the absolute shit my DP has put me through.

Over the last few months I've applied for a new job at work (long app process with lots of stages) and I found out yesterday that I've passed and will be offered pretty much a dream role! This will be more money in the long run but more importantly it's going to make me feel worthwhile again.

The further in the process I've got to, the more I've started to really not care when DP starts, like really not care, not just pretending to try and get through! I can see that he doesn't understand why I'm just ignoring him and why the last thing I want to do is have sex with him!

My confidence is finally growing back, is this my karma over? Have I finally "paid my dues" for my own wrong doing?!!

Definitely not a strong point keeping it short 🤣

Karma doesn't exist, sorry.

Don't punish yourself, move on and rebuild your life if this current relationship is dead.

@MrsVogon I used to think the same but my life makes me think that it actually does!

[quote cleanslate22]@MrsVogon I used to think the same but my life makes me think that it actually does! [/quote]
I can understand why you would think so, but life is just life.

If it makes you feel better that your new job is helping you feel there is a light at the end of the tunnel, then great.

What @MrsVogon said. Move on with some kindness to him as he doesn't appear to have done anything wrong from your post.

rather than stand up for yourself in your present relationship, you have "felt" that you deserve a certain amount of crap because of your past relationship and have accepted behavior that under normal circumstance or from other people you wouldn't have accepted - you don't and shouldn't accept anyone's shitty behavior, irrespective of what or how you have behaved previously

@Usernameismyname01

rather than stand up for yourself in your present relationship, you have "felt" that you deserve a certain amount of crap because of your past relationship and have accepted behavior that under normal circumstance or from other people you wouldn't have accepted - you don't and shouldn't accept anyone's shitty behavior, irrespective of what or how you have behaved previously

Totally this!

Hey if it makes you feel better to believe in karma then do, use this new found confidence and lack of feelings for your bellend of a husband and leave him, excel in your new job and be kind in any future relationships

I often think that when people label partners as narcissistic etc - what is actually going on is one person feels less in love, more secure and the other more anxious or needy. In more balanced relationships - this can ebb and flow between both. Sometimes all the cards seem to be held by one over the other. But these places can be swapped with a different partner.

And it can take time to find any kind of balance if you go from one end to the other.
So no - I don’t really think it’s Karma - more that you have found the shoe on the other foot - and seen things from a different perspective. It can make you question your boundaries and the boundaries you have respected or breeched previously I’m sure.

Your karma will be over when you allow it to be.

Life is too short to punish yourself forever