New relationship - nothing to talk about

[Newi]

So I met someone amazing month ago . We clicked! A lot of chemistry, we were talking all the time about everything and so much have in common. We are both on furlough so we are spending every day together - watching Netflix, Going for walks... however last two three days there has been a lot of quiet between us and it looks like we are running out of things to say . Is that normal? Was it a bad idea to be so intense at the beginning? I’m planning to keep seeing him hoping it will resolve itself.. any tips/anyone experienced this in relationship ? It’s been only a month so obviously I could just quit seeing him, but we have so much in common, Similar personalities, fancy each other, same goals (both mid 30s so kids are no 1 on the list - obviously not straight away) so wanna give it a proper shot...

No, not normal at all. It's only been a month. Chances are he was just mirroring your interests, lying to charm you. It doesn't get better.

@RantyAnty

No, not normal at all. It's only been a month. Chances are he was just mirroring your interests, lying to charm you. It doesn't get better.

Bloody hell, that's a leap of imagination!

It's full on. You cant be expected to endlessly have interesting conversations all the time with anyone.Its alright to have silences and quiet times.

Well we are both drummers - and exchanged videos and pics of ourselves, we can both quote same movies, both runners - he actually runs to mine - so I know he runs, we both own and love motorbikes-saw his and he saw mine - so no lies hopefully .... I feel quiet anti social since the lockdown started being isolated at home ...I had no company for almost a year (no family near by). So I felt like that could be it (I’m usually the chatty one in relationship)

You need some distance - spending every day together so soon is giving neither of you any space to live your own lives and therefore nothing new to talk about! I think if you really like each other and want this to work our longer term, you need to not smother the relationship. All the missing each other and butterflies at meeting up...that stuff is important to build on

there's just not as much to talk about in lockdown

If the relationship is meant to be then this wouldn’t be an issue. Are you not comfortable with silence? Is chatting about mundane stuff feeling awkward/ stilted? If that’s the case I’d say it’s probably not going to work.

No relationship has you talking for hours about your hobbies/ interests/ places you’ve been/ where you’ve lived etc once you know these things about the other person. You might reference them now and again but otherwise it’s just normal conversation.

Don't overanalyse?

Lockdown is killing relationships all over the place. I don't even bother setting up zoom calls with friends any more, all my previous hobbies and sports are banned or on hold, can't see films, can't go to the theatre, can't do anything and we just end up talking Covid or trying to avoid talking about it, which is stilted and unfulfilling.

Maybe set weekly dates instead of daily contact and you could talk about what you'll be doing next spring?

Silence is fine as long as it’s comfortable silence rather than awkward silence. I’m guessing it feels awkward or you wouldn’t be questioning it.
I think it sounds very intense to be spending so much time together at this stage. It will be adding to the lack of conversation as neither of you will have anything new to tell the other if you’re not living your own lives. It might be difficult to break the habit of spending so much time together without causing offence but I think you need some space and then see if the conversation returns.

Sorry if I’m wrong but it sounds like you haven’t actually met in real life?

prettybubblesintheair OP said that they’re spending every day together and going on walks. That definitely sounds like they’ve met.

@Prettybubblesintheair yes we met and spending time together in real life

I guess I agree with all of you - we are not seeing each other today so slowly will start to create better pattern - we are both also starting work in a week so hopefully that will bring new topics

Sorry my mistake, it’s just when you said you’d exchanged pics and vids it sounded to me as though you hadn’t met in real life. Apologies.

In that case comfortable silence is a good thing, but long drawn out awkward ones aren’t. My dh isn’t chatty, I can easily talk enough for both of us! But it’s not nice to HAVE to do all the talking, he should be making an effort too. However at the moment it’s not as if you can go anywhere to do stuff to talk about! Couples are spending way more time together than usual due to lockdown, working from home, furlough etc. Only you know how it feels when you’re together, does it feel comfortable or awkward?

We met online two months ago so we exchanged the videos and pics then. It’s More comfortable than with other people but I tend to feel scared I’m boring so in general I don’t feel good about silence moments