Meeting a man...

[StillCantSleep]

So many people seem to rely on online dating to meet someone. It seems to me to be an awful way to meet someone - catalogue shopping and one giant pick me dance!

The quality of men seems so poor regardless of which site you use.

Some many women posting on here about dire men of the internet.

So many assumptions that if you've met someone new that must be how you met.

It seems to invalidate the whole thing. I admit that, if I hear someone has met online, I can't see the relationship in quite the same light - but maybe that's just clouded by my personal experiences? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Does anyone meet in real life any more?

Does anyone meet decent men?

Give me hope!

Countdown to stories of internet meets, soulmates and marriage and babies....

I agree with you though overall. It’s shit and the stories on the dating threads highlight that!

Needle in a haystack online.

I have no solutions though. It used to force people out pre internet. Pubs and bars were packed from Thu-Sun.

I came off internet dating I think 2 1/2 or 3 years ago.

Bizarrely I immediately started meeting men in real life situations- not sure why that never happened before 🤷🏽‍♀️

I’d never ever go back to OLD now!

Of course they do but men can behave the same whether online or not.
And this year is a bit difficult to meet someone just out and about.

All my friends are married with kids and don't really want to go out 'on the pull' so I didn't get chance to go out and meet men after my separation. I wouldn't be in a hurry to back to OLD but I did find it amusing for the 6 months or so I did it.

I did meet my bf online and I don't feel our relationship is any less valid because of it. In fact I feel the opposite as our paths would never have crossed otherwise.

I also didn't want to be restricted to meeting men from the town I live in because everyone knows everyone so this allowed me to broaden my horizons a little.

My bf also doesn't drink so I would have never met him in a bar!

There are pro's and cons but it just seems to be the main way people meet these days as times have changed.

And a lot of people seem to meet at work but my work just isn't like that so that also wasn't an option for me.

For what it's worth, my bf tells me there are plenty of 'dire' women on OLD too and from having a look via his account soon after we met, I have to agree! Snapchat filters and 'erotic' poses galore!

Bizarrely I immediately started meeting men in real life situations- not sure why that never happened before 🤷🏽‍♀️

... but if you were in your early 40's , divorced with 2 or 3 kids and working full time where and when would you be meeting all these men ?.

@Pyewhacket I’m 40, a single mum to a teenager and WFH FT!

• One guy was a friends new lodger
• Another met at a mutual hobby (the only class I used to go to once per week)
• Another one in the steam room post gym session
• lastly a building collapsed on my street in lockdown, lots of people went to have a look and met him there as it was his building! (Very outing and I’m now pregnant with his child!)

But these are pre lockdown examples @namechangedforthisoct2

You can still meet people in bars, at parties, in clubs, through friends and at groups - but you have to be going to those places in the first place. Do you have any girlfriends? Get them together, do a bit of research about the kind of bars where people go when they’re looking to socialise and network and meet new people (not just down your local) and go have fun.

I like online dating because it’s upfront and everyone knows why everyone else is there. If I’m in a bar I’m generally there to spend time with the friends I’m with rather than get chatted up. If I’m in a club I’m usually there to dance into oblivion with my friends, not find someone to get off with. I don’t particularly want to meet potential partners or shags “in real life” when I’m likely busy doing something else. I must have been on hundreds of internet dates over the years (I like dating) and I have never had a bad one. I’ve met men I chose not to see again because we didn’t click or whatever but I’ve never met anyone anything like all the horror stories I read on here. I don’t think it’s the medium that’s the problem, I think it’s the picker.

I'm one of those that met my husband online. However we had actually met before but don't remember each other, and we also had mutual friends so I think that really helped with our relationship progressing the way it did, as we were thrown together in real life situations.
My sister met her partner in a shop actually, they got chatting in a queue and then went their separate ways. But then they kept bumping into each other, and eventually it led to a coffee date, which then led to a dinner date and now they've been together for a couple of years. So it does happen.

Soul mate? ha ha, 3,959,458,094 men in the world, turns out my soul mate lived 3 miles down the road

@VeganVeal

Soul mate? ha ha, 3,959,458,094 men in the world, turns out my soul mate lived 3 miles down the road

Met my boy friend by chance through a mutual activity (local politics) and it went from there. Pure luck, I wasn’t looking for a relationship, it just happened.

I think you do hear the worst of the internet dating stories on here which is off putting.
Even meeting someone in rl doesn't mean it's any more likely to end up a long happy relationship, the odds are you have to kiss a few frogs before you find less of a toad to be happy with.
No harm in online dating along as your very fussy to weed out the weirdos but keep an eye out in rl too. Personally I'm more introvert so I prefer online and I'm not out on the town so much now I'm a mature lady, even going back to my youth the bars and clubs were just full of sleazy men looking for a ons anyway most of the time.
At work I can't help but be professional I just don't want to cross the line or they are attached already.
It's not easy is it? I admire @Namechangedforthisoct2 though you've done well

@ComtesseDeSpair

Local and drunk, my kinda soul-mate. If they pay for the kebab on the way home even better

I met my OH totally by accident at a large event. He was a friend of a friend and it went from there.

A lot of friends and family tell me I will meet someone and he will just fall into my life when I least expect it. It feels like a platitude, much like telling women TTC to just relax and it will happen. I would love to think it will happen randomly but I just cant picture it. I've never been the sort of girl that fellas pursue or get randomly chatted up by. My work is 80% women and the rest are older happily married men. I ask friends if they have any nice single male friends, they never do. My hobbies are also done by ladies much like myself. It all seems a bit hopeless.

I agree there's a lot of dire men on the internet dating sites. I'm sure there are women too.
I have a lovley partner and did meet him internet dating however it was a needle in a haystack and I met a lot of men before I met him.

I met my ex through a theatre group, we were both in the show that year. Before that I did meet someone through online dating but like you I prefer in person. I came off online dating for that reason.

I went to work and forgot I'd posted this!

I've been dating for 28 years and I've never met anyone I've seen as a long term prospect and the feeling has been mutual except for once.

I had several years out when my son was young but I've been dating on and off for the past 7 or 8 years. I've ended all of them because they've turned put to be so dire.

A few of my friends think I've been too picky although they all showed attitudes/behaviours I wouldn't want long term and I'm not going to tie myself up in knots to make myself ok with them.

It was another thread I'm on that got me thinking about this about the expectations of men for pormn sex nowadays which is what I'm finding the most off putting. I've met a few men who could have had potential if it weren't for this.

So this issue has been longer standing for me than just the difficulties posed by lockdown restrictions.

I tried online dating for 6 months about 7 years ago and every so often, os sign up again to just see wht it's like and it's awful! Yes, I hear from men than many women on there are equally awful!

I worked in a female dominated profession. So very little opportunity there - I've never worked anywhere with more than one male colleague and all have been in relationships (and i wouldn't have been interested anyway). I met one man through work who did everything i would have wanted - showed an interest in me as a person; we got to know each other over several months and built up a bond; very respectful and deep conversations. We really connected. It was clear that, by the time in left that job, there was something there and he asked for my number. He asked me out on a date and I googled him. Discovered he was married!

I meet men through hobbies but they're never single.

I've met men on nights out but they've often not been single either.

I dated someone recently who seemed to have potential in many ways but he wanted to cum on my face and put his hands around my throat during sex. That's not the type of sex I want.

I would just like to meet a decent, interesting and interested single man with his own life, friends and hobbies who is looking for an equal partner. All the men I meet have had successful previous relationships and speak well of them. No obvious red flags until they big ones emerge...

But it would be nice to meet someone and fall in love and to just be content.