How long would you you wait after being blue ticked in a message

[murphys]

Met someone, can see now it was a one night thing. Although for the last month there have been frequent messages back and forth, but from his side, he was starting to take much longer to reply and not very chatty.

The last message I sent him was a week ago today, and he has blue ticked me, so not response since. It was in reply to a message he had sent me that day.

I don't want to be hasty in blocking etc, but I am thinking of deleting his number so that I am not tempted to message him again (not sure why, but I just clicked with him and have not been able to get him off my mind). If I delete his contact then my profile picture will disappear on his side as we use Whatsapp, so he will know I have done something.

Or is this a bit dramatic after a only a week?. I know he has been busy with work, which makes me think it could be this. We are in our 50s so not kids.

So just trying to get the feel of what the time frame is if you have been ghosted.....

every fucker checks their phone before bed

Block and move on you'll save yourself q world of pain

@bubbles1960

Deleting a contact on your phone will not show up on his whatsapp? If you block him then yes as you say your profile picture is not visible to him anymore and you won't receive the messages he sends you.

Yes there is a setting in privacy that your profile picture can only be viewed by those numbers stored as a contact in your phone. I have it like that for various reasons. I am not going to change it just because of one person though.

@Eckhart

This is what I may have been waiting for, so that I can blue tick him back lol

But I do realise that is very childish though

Yup. Because it's your emotions on the line. So really it's not very 'lol' at all. You're already a bit hurt and you've only met him once.

Yes, this is true, I did get a bit emotionally invested as ridiculous as that seems.

Thank you for being frank though, I did need to read this.

If it's easier for you just delete the chat, then you don't have to see the message sitting there.

As a fellow person who would be tempted... I feel your pain!

so what is wrong with asking advice from others

I didn't say it was wrong, I asked you whether it presented a red flag, because for a person with healthy boundaries, it would.

If he blocked you, would you think he was being dramatic? Needy? Desperate? Over-invested?

No. You'd think you'd been snubbed by somebody who didn't even give you the time to explain why. So why would he think otherwise of you?

If he does message, leave the message a few days, read it so the blue tick things show up, then don't respond for a week 😋

OP I get it, I've been ghosted and its a horrible feeling, especially if you've slept together. I would delete the message thread with him so you don't have to see it. I will tell you he may pop back up again in the future. Guys often ghost so they can leave things open if they get bored later on...cheeky twats.

This depends for me really. You say you’ve met him once, but been messaging for a month. Now I absolutely hate messaging people, I only message to arrange to meet up. I’m making assumptions here but I’m guessing you met him when lockdown was lifted, but haven’t been able to see him since. It could be a case of him being bored to death or sending messages back and forth for weeks on end but not being able to see you. I’d give it another couple of weeks until the restrictions have lifted (if you like him enough to wait) and see what happens then. I think if he wanted to ghost you, he’d have done so straight away, not carried on messaging you for weeks

I don't think of blocking as dramatic or a big statement necessarily.

I do it if someone has either behaved irredeemably (a recent date who was physically quite aggressive) or if they've shown a clear lack of interest.

Otherwise they will inevitably get back in touch when they can be arsed and if you reply, it will inevitably go nowhere because they weren't that bothered in the first place.

Blocking just keeps the decks clear. On OLD you speak to a lot of men and these 'hey, sorry, my pet stick insect had a cold' messages just clutter the place up.

OP sorry about this, it's not nice being ghosted especially after sex and/ or thinking you've hit it off. But it's not personal, just the way OLD is, I'm afraid. I wouldn't bother messaging tbh.

Blocking isn't drama. It's drama-avoidance. It's reaching your desire end point without any unnecessary action or conversation.

It's different in long term relationships and friendships, but in this situation it's the best way to avoid any fuss (which he isn't offering anyway)

You'll get the 'how are you' message in a few weeks when he fancies another shag.
Don't feel the slightest bit bad to leave it read.

I think blocking is a bit dramatic. Some tinder guy did that to me once and I just thought that they were weird.
Just move on. Delete his number if you must but you need to learn to fall less easily in the initial stages. Also you really shouldn't care whether he's noticed that you've done something, he's basically a stranger to you so why does he matter in any way?

Just leave it and assume it's over. No need to block him though

I'm in the delete his number, delete the thread camp. If he gets in touch again, think about whether you're going to get want you want from responding to him. If not, don't. He'll get the message.

It seems unnecessarily petty to block someone who isn't actually trying to contact you.

A fling not too long ago dumped me which was fine as I'd already mentally dumped him but also blocked me which I thought was a bit much. Like I wanted to contact him again anyway!!

I had something a bit similar recently (though more with a fwb situation). I decided not to block as didn’t want him to think I was being dramatic. He messaged the next day saying he had been super busy. It did make me think about the relationship and what I want/need in terms of contact etc.

Being ghosted is horrible so I feel for you. Just archive the chat and move on.

Block. Until you block you will always have that little niggle wondering if he will contact you. And they always do... blocking removes that as an opportunity. You are now back in control (he can't turn up with a lame excuse to make you second guess yourself) and you will forget about him much quicker this way. Delete the chat and his number too.

So many babies out there who can't say" sorry but I don't think we are a match ." I don't know what's wrong with these men ! Move on OP !

Who cares what he thinks?

You don't want to be tempted to contact him again so delete his number.

Yes he will see you've deleted him but who cares what he thinks

@40swrinklesandspots

I had something a bit similar recently (though more with a fwb situation). I decided not to block as didn’t want him to think I was being dramatic. He messaged the next day saying he had been super busy. It did make me think about the relationship and what I want/need in terms of contact etc.

It does make you think doesn't it. I am a pretty sensible middle aged woman and I am happy being single, but been quite blindsided by how much being ghosted bothered me.

But moving on. Putting things like the fact he has much younger dc than me in the forefront. And anything else I can think of to put me off him. The non contact of course is the first on that list.

When I went to archive him, I saw that he was online. So clearly not lost a phone, laying in a ditch etc. Just plain old just has not replied.