What to make of this ?

[blurgh989]

Seeing a guy for around 5 weeks now. First time I slept with him, he then pops into my work the next day for a quick hello. He then emails me the following day to say 'hi hope you are ok'. We exchange a few emails that day, then he stops. They next day nothing. I message him that night to say what's going on. I go see him for a chat and to tell him I feel like I was just a shag. He said I wasn't but could see why i thought that - well if he could see why i thought that then why not do something about it ?? That night we kiss passionately, no sex, i go home he sends some nice messages to me. That was last night and nothing from him today.

Odd ??

Not massively odd - have you messaged him today? How often were you messaging/seeing each other previously?

I think you sound quiet intense, to be honest, and it would be putting me off if I was him. You've known him 5 weeks and seem to want instant commitment because you had sex.

quite not quiet!

He would know how not speaking again today would make you feel because he said he understood why you felt like that last time so seems sort of intentional? Some men just like the chase unfortunately.. I wouldn’t contact him first again and see what he does, he may just have had a busy day but still should have found a few minutes to let you know to reassure you if you normally speak everyday.

Only give them the same amount of attention as they're willing to give you.

Guess the first question to ask is: are you in a mutually exclusive relationship? Because "seeing someone for a few weeks" doesn't necessarily mean you're exclusive.

You may have a different idea to the stage of relationship your at then he does.

It's a bit strange all round really - him popping round where you work - invasive. But then you complaining if he's not texted you for a whole day - also a bit OTT. On balance, he's strangest, turning up at where you work is a big fat no, it seems controlling, and then the gaps in communication, he's playing mind games with you. I'd bin him off, you don't need that.

I'd be horrified if someone I'd just started dating turned up at my work. So unprofessional, hugely inconvenient, massively intrusive and just plain embarrassing.

Maybe I’m in the minority here but just because someone doesn’t message you every single day doesn’t mean they aren’t into you. People have other things going on in their lives - work, family, friends, their own dramas and problems. And some people just don’t feel the need to have daily communication. If he was only getting in touch once a week that would be a different story, but skipping the odd day? Relax.

I would see how it goes for a short while, maybe look for a pattern. I would be wary if the contact ramps up when he wants sex and then he goes quiet again. That suggests he's seeing it as very casual. I hate this stage of dating, its all so uncertain.

I wouldn’t message him. See if he comes to you. Not getting good vibes about this bloke.....

@Sunflower1970

I wouldn’t message him. See if he comes to you. Not getting good vibes about this bloke.....

Isn’t that just playing game’s though? Why should he be the one to always message first?